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Skyla Dawn Cameron

My characters kill people so I don't have to.

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April 7, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

Wherein Livi Talbot’s on Life Support

Nov 21 Update: the series has been cancelled prematurely.

So titled because of this post. Hey, I like carrying a rough metaphor through, okay?

If you’ll indulge me for a moment, there are some things I have to get off my chest, and it may be lengthy and something I regret, but this is my page so, well, here we go–whatever, I do what I want.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: epub, life, livi talbot, mobi, news, odin's spear, pdf, personal, piracy, rant, solomon's seal, torrent, update, writers and readers, writing

February 3, 2015 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 13 Comments

Dearth of Empathy and Death of Zara Lain

First, the ground rules:

  1. I have been published for nine years and pirated for eight of them. Whatever pro-piracy, “chillax” argument you are going to make, I have heard it. And I don’t care. Your comments on this subject will not be approved.
  2. Speaking of, I have a very detailed comment policy. In a nutshell, when you visit my blog and step into my virtual home, you are entitled to my opinion; I am not entitled to yours.
  3. Since the point of this post is compassion and empathy, or lack thereof, I do recommend you step back and consider that before reacting in a way that proves my point.
  4. You can believe that piracy is great and right and STILL respect others’ wishes/opinions in this matter. I think vodka is great. I do not force others to partake of it.

Now…

*

Zara Lain is dead.

I’ve had very simple policies regarding books in the Demons of Oblivion series and its continuation.

The first is that future books depend on sales. As it was initially conceived as a five-book series (and only when I realized how Oblivion ended did I know there should be more books) with a particular arc that came to a conclusion with the fifth book, I knew I could end it at five and hopefully readers would be satisfied, but that there was room for more. And even after I said last year that I needed to let go of the possibility of book six and beyond since sales were so poor (despite being 3x what they were with a publisher) and it was stressing me out, I have always left the door open for more (for confirmation, check the description of the Patreon milestone “Oblivion and Beyond”).

Bloodlines-AReThe second policy was that if Exhumed ended up pirated, that was it. I would never, ever publish another Zara Lain book. Ever.

Searching for illegal copies of my books leads you to my site first where I make this abundantly clear. This has led to some people, over the past year, legitimately buying the books (including Bloodlines, which has been out there for pirating for a year and a half now). I have also reached out to/confronted any attempted pirate I found and asked them not to steal from me. It’s an exhaustive process but, generally, appealing to someone’s humanity as a fellow human is more effective than ranting and threatening legal action.

For some time these policies, combined with the sheer obscurity of me as a writer, has worked to keep most of my books from being illegally distributed.

This is no longer the case.

Therefore, Zara Lain is dead.

*

When a google alert on Sunday popped up to tell me Exhumed was being requested at a forum devoted to illegally distributing books, my heart sank but I headed over to try my best. I reached out to the pirate–who I have no doubt hit my website first, as they always do–and very nicely, very calmly asked her (I’m assuming “her” as, sadly, I find a great number of pirates are, because women seem to enjoy fucking over other women) to please not do this.

Please.

This book, I said, has sold little in the past month. I am not some big time author, I am really struggling with basic things like affording food and vet care for my ailing cat. Readers and writers have a symbiotic relationship; I cannot do my part–producing more books to be read–if readers do not do theirs by obtaining books legally. I suggested that perhaps she could visit her local library and request that they order a copy if she cannot afford the book.

This was one instance where appealing to someone’s humanity didn’t work.

“jdscott666” (aka “jd25” aka “bookho”) is responsible for the death of any potential the series had left. Unequivocally.

*

“But Skyla, YOU are the one choosing not to write them! You can’t punish everyone for one person’s actions!”

I get it. I do. But here’s the thing: I am the one who has to write these books.

I am the one who has to make financial sacrifices to write something that doesn’t earn a living wage. I am the one who has to face the word processor plagued by the knowledge that this book I’m pouring myself into is going to be illegally distributed more than bought; that if I bear my soul in this thing, this piece of art that has emotional resonance with people, I will eventually have my rights violated and consent disregarded.

I can tolerate low sales. I can tolerate piracy. I cannot tolerate both at the same time.

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This does affect legit readers. I feel terrible about that, I really do.

But however much you might love the characters and books, remember that they come from my brain. I live and breathe these fictional people. I’ve invested over a decade of my life into this series. These stories have parts of me in them.

I am also, whatever my faults, a woman of my word. When I say “If you do this thing, there will be a consequence”, I’m not making an idle threat. It’s been almost six years since Wolfe came out. Has there been another River novel? No. There hasn’t even been a short story(1). Like I said, piracy guaranteed I would never, ever go back and write another of those books. I said that if you pirate Exhumed, you will kill this series too.

I don’t bluff.

*

Exhumed-KindleExhumed…just about killed me to write.

I cried through most of it. It absolutely terrified me to go to the places I did with the book. I put my blood and tears into everything I write–those who know me see glimpses there in everything–but never as openly as I did with that book. That is my soul bared on the page. Out of the thirty+ books I’ve written, there are maybe half a dozen I can say that about.

It didn’t sell well. It was rarely reviewed and barely read. People spoiled the twists for readers within the first week of release. It didn’t make any favourite book/top reads lists.

But the handful of die-hard fans bought it, read it, and loved it. And it was a book I was tremendously proud of.

And now I cannot even describe for you what it feels like to have that book illegally distributed. The reader/writer agreement is, “Okay, here is a piece of my soul; you can have it and do with it what you will–hate it, tear it up, whatever–if you’ve paid for the thing.” Then NOT paying for the thing? Having my rights violated, my consent stomped all over? When I am having to have conversations with myself about whether or not it’s time to break down and go to the motherfucking food bank?

It is heartbreaking. And it hurts too much to even contemplate putting myself in this position again with these books.

*

A lot of people, when dealing with pirates, say, “It’s a shitty thing to do, but I don’t think you’re a bad person for stealing.”

Sometimes, I’d agree. I don’t think illegally distributing books in itself makes you a terrible person; I think intent matters a lot and I ultimately believe in a human being’s potential to do better.

But I do think that when the creator of something reaches out to you and says, “Please don’t do this; this harms me and those I care for, and has a tangible, negative impact on my life,” and you do it anyway…well, yes.

Yes, you are a TERRIBLE FUCKING PERSON.

You are lacking in empathy, either because you are an actual sociopath or because you have deluded yourself into believing your entitlement to cheat the system and read without abiding by the rules in place that ensure I can make a living outweighs my rights as the person who CREATED THE BOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE. You knowingly, deliberately, maliciously set out to hurt another person, and for what? A couple of hours of entertainment? This book would not exist without me, and to thank me for the contribution, you completely fuck me over?

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If you do this, you are a shitty person. Period. Full stop. No justification or excuses.

*

This dearth of empathy, quite frankly, scares the hell out of me.

Like the more and more we’re connected, the more we see avatars instead of people; the greater our access to content creators, the less human we see them as. If someone came to me and said, look, this thing you are doing that violates my rights is having a real negative impact on my life, so please do not do it? Fuck, I’d feel like shit. I’d try to find a way to make it right. I sure as hell wouldn’t double down.

I regularly write from the POV of murderers and monsters, and yet this is still baffling to me, how someone can feel so entitled to a book, they will disregard the creator’s wishes–how they can refuse to see that creator as human. How they justify their mentality of “want, take, have” and believe it trumps my right to things like groceries and veterinary care for my pets.

This lack of empathy is nothing to be proud of; in fact, I think we–as a society–should be shaming the fuck out of people who show so little regard for others. If we could take the amount of energy we put into shaming people for stupid shit like obesity or promiscuity and put it toward having no tolerance for actual character flaws like lacking empathy and willfully harming others, maybe humans wouldn’t be such a shitty species.

*

This bears linking to again.

The bottom line is that artists’ rights are workers’ rights. You are not being progressive or radical by denying artists the right to control their own work. You are not helping the underprivileged by making it impossible for anyone who isn’t already rich and privileged to take up artistic careers. Your pirated Taylor Swift song isn’t feeding the poor. If you want to fight the power, maybe try hacking JP Morgan instead of pirating a vampire romance for your Kindle.

As a writer, when you spend a lot of time sending takedown notices and dealing with this aspect of the business, you get pretty familiar with piracy sites. You see the same things over and over.

You see dozens of people thanking and giving praise to “all the hard work” someone put into a torrent of three hundred books.

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These people are able to disconnect the book from the author so much that it doesn’t even occur to them to THANK THEM FOR WRITING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Not that we can live on praise and thanks alone, of course, but that the writer is left entirely out of the equation is very telling.

I fully support ebook (and movie) piracy in specific instances, like smuggling content across the border to North Korea. That is hugely important work making a difference within that country. But we are not talking about distributing work across tightly controlled borders to help oppressed people see what’s happening elsewhere in the world.

We are talking about people who claim to love books and yet actively work to ensure the people who produce them can’t make any more.

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And this is absolutely baffling to me, in part because for a long time I have been very poor and therefore very aware of how I spend my money. I shop local as much as possible, even if it means spending a bit more money. I buy books by my friends even if they’d give me a free copy. If I like a thing, I try to ensure my pennies to toward supporting it, and even if I DON’T like a thing, other than boycotting, I wouldn’t go out of my way to cause someone harm.

*

“Nothing you say here, Skyla, will make a difference.”

That? That does not make me feel better, you realize.

I am fully aware that I am shouting into the void. That talking about piracy makes me a target for more of it (because, again, their entitlement blinds them to the fact that I am an actual person and that it is a shitty thing to work to harm another human being and her family for no reason). That it would be much easier if I could just flip a switch and stop caring about my work being stolen.

Let me tell you, you do not want to see what kind of person I will be if I stop caring about all these un-winnable fights.

I am told the same thing every time I take in a stray dog off the street, feed it, and try to find its home, or take in a cat when dear god I do not need another but it’s starving and freezing outside. “Just care a little less.” But as soon as we shut off that little part of us that empathizes and connects with others, the closer we get to being the kind of person who willfully disregards the rights and wishes of others.

And I don’t ever want to be that kind of person.

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So I care. And I will speak up. Loudly. Even when it doesn’t appear to make a difference. Because the alternative is sitting back and pretending it’s okay, and I am not going to do that. I abhor dishonesty of any kind too much.

Please do not tell me to stop caring when someone violates my rights. Please do not tell me to stop caring when someone’s actions make it that much harder to keep the heat on. Please do not tell me to stop caring because “it’s never going away.”

How about instead, you start trying to care a little more?

*

“Seriously, Skyla, what the hell does this mean now?”

  • Nothing has changed for Oblivion.  Either I get to it when I get to it or, miracle of miracles, somehow Patreon reaches my sustainability goal first and then I will buckle down and prioritize it.
  • This has not changed the potential resurrection of Amends on Patreon. If that milestone is reached, Zara will rise again there, for that book only. I am undecided about whether or not, when it’s complete, I’ll release it for sale; it might remain exclusive to patrons.
  • Dial V for Vampire remains exclusive to my website shop and this is the only place a post-Oblivion world will be glimpsed.
  • Solace, Zara’s next full-length book in the series, will be written eventually because it’s a story I want to tell. And then it will sit on my harddrive, except for when it goes to visit close friends to be read. Absolutely no one will stop me from writing, because writing is breathing for me. But publishing? I will not publish a book only to have it stolen more than bought.

I am not rage-quitting writing or closing up shop. I have more stories to tell. More books will release at some point. I’ve been through this before and the wheel keeps turning.

Maybe the next books will sell better.

But, like River Wolfe, Zara Lain is dead, and will remain so.

*

tl;dr – piracy killed another series, wheee!

 

 

(1) Rebellion is still on my plate here, but I am so fucking depressed right now (and still dealing with med dosage changes fucking up my moods), I’d rather tackle my pile of paying work for a while. Hopefully it’ll still be done by the end of the month.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Demons of Oblivion, exhumed, news, piracy, rant, torrent, writers and readers, zara lain

January 12, 2015 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 5 Comments

Crowdfunding, Patrons, & Thoughts

ICYMI, a YA author was kickstarting the costs to write and produce the sequel to a book publishers passed on, and this included her living expenses while writing. The internet exploded, what could’ve been a nuanced discussion about crowdfunding and the burden of costs in publishing turned into The Sharks vs The Jets (as everything on the internet is wont to do), the author was doxxed, and everything is terrible.

Then there’s me, sitting over here having just launched a Patreon to, in part, possibly cover living expenses and stuff, going “Hmmm.”

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(I’m not linking to that stuff because I just want to talk about me and my POV for a minute and I’m a narcissist. )

I really, really hesitated last year before launching the Resurrecting River campaign for a number of reasons.

  1. I wasn’t sure I *wanted* to resurrect the book. That was a big one.
  2. I felt that if I was putting something out myself, the burden should fall on my shoulders.
  3. If I know a project isn’t financially viable (as re-releasing River was) and can’t shoulder that burden, I shouldn’t bother with it, because asking for help means I’ve FAILED AT EVERYTHING.
  4. The trend toward expecting readers to do everything (like marketing–do not even get me started on “street teams”–and now funding up front the editing/production) really bothers me. I didn’t want to be part of that trend. I felt that if you were going to go it alone rather than with a commercial publisher, generally you should be paying for that shit yourself.

I ended up running the Indiegogo thing anyway because readers wanted the book. I was frequently asked if River and Wolfe would be in print again, so I finally said, well, here’s your chance to see it happen. Otherwise probably not because I have other stuff to work on. And it did extremely well. Because I know generous people and have very kind readers who wanted those books.

The trouble, as I saw it, was that it wasn’t a sustainable business model for me. My books are not financially viable after the fact, so I have no money to invest in producing them, therefore I’d have to keep crowdfunding all the time, and that thought just makes me ill. I don’t want to be That Person. I dislike asking for money and I LOATHE asking for help of any kind. So crowdfund the first time, great, with the expectation that I’ll make enough money to cover the costs of future ones and won’t have to do it again. If I have to keep dipping back into the pool of readers and friends every time I want to publish a book, that’s gonna get old pretty damn fast.

Patreon, too, was something I looked at, but for it to be worth my time, I’d have to already be a fairly popular writer, I thought. Like 2% of readers might donate, and at $2-$5 on average, well…I’d need a much larger readerbase than I have now for it to make a dent.

I can do my own covers, I have friends who are copyeditors I exchange deals with (given that I edit and design myself), I format my own ebooks and do my own print interiors. I can produce a very nice book at little cost to me, unlike a lot of writers.

What I need is money to pay my rent while I write the damn thing. And one of the things I kept telling people, primarily with Oblivion and why it’s not written/published yet, is that it wasn’t the production cost that concerned me. It was taking the time off to write it.

The outrage around a writer asking for living expenses to be paid while writing a book is sort of understandable, given how many of us write books while working 2-3 jobs and taking care of families. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at someone and said “Bitch, please” when I look at how much I juggle and still manage to get shit done without asking for help. Writers should be taking some risks with their work. That’s part of self-publishing–taking a risk yourself instead of the publisher taking the risk.

However…the point that seems to be lost is that things are VERY different when you’re already making a living as a writer.

When I was a housewife, I had lots of time to write and experiment and not worry whether my art was financially viable.

When I juggled a couple of jobs, as a tutor and as an employee for a publisher, my bills were being paid so I could write/publish what I wanted and not worry whether my art was financially viable.

Now I’m a freelance designer and full time writer. Now I have to choose what I work on very, very carefully. I can’t spend sixteen hours a day at the computer, several hours on editing/design, several hours on for-pay writing projects, and then several hours on urban fantasy. Just can’t physically or mentally do it. My primary writing time has to go to projects that will pay my rent. Oblivion? Isn’t going to pay my rent. I’ll be lucky if it pays my internet for a month. To make that book a priority, I would have to find some other way to cover my living expenses while I wrote it part time. I have no way of doing that.

shakespeare-got-to-get-paidSo what does a writer do in this circumstance, when it comes to writing a book fans want when it’s not a financially smart decision? Go out and get another job (on top of the full time writing, and this is even assuming one can just magically find an extra job when so many are out of work) JUST to cover the two months it takes to write this one extra book? Take money away from saving for something really important (like a house, or a holiday, or babies, etc) to cover that time to write the book and not see a return on that investment when it’s published? Or just not write the book and continue writing the other ones that *do* pay the bills?

I don’t know, honestly. There is no universal right or wrong answer here.

There’s just whatever the writer decides to do. It’s just one of many options, and options are good. And if people want to support that, great. If they don’t, that’s cool too. I know that I stubbornly swore I would do everything on my own in the future and if books didn’t do well, they’d be abandoned, and if Skyla books didn’t pick up, Skyla just wouldn’t publish anymore.

Then I got sick. Really sick. The unfixable kind.

I spent six months pretty sure I was dying only to find out no, not dying, but my body is attacking itself and won’t stop.

Then I had my Fuck It™ Moment in Taco Bell.

And this is what it came down to for me:

I will use any and all resources available to me to make a living at writing.

This means…

  • I will continue writing for-pay projects I hate that pay the bills.
  • I will crowdfund to resurrect an old book*.
  • I will open a Patreon page for monthly support.
  • And I will try whatever else comes along until the day I don’t have to.

tumblr_m3zddgC5b11rt2r0xo1_500I will do this because Fuck It, there ARE different resources for writers now, and why shouldn’t I give them a shot? Because I’m afraid I’ll feel judged or like I’ve failed or something? FUCK THAT.

I will do this because I am not holding a gun to anyone’s head and I know I am not entitled to make a living in the arts; I offer books for sale, I offer ways to help see them written, and if in either of those instances readers decide not to offer support, that’s okay.

I will do this because I have learned there are people who want to help if given the opportunity. I may not have enough of a readership yet to pay my bills after a book is released, but a handful of the the ones I have want to help out, so voila, here are ways to do so. Others would rather not and wait and buy a book after it’s published, and that is cool too.

I will do this because I dislike poverty more than I care about other people’s opinions on how I pay my bills.

And I will do this because life is too short to worry about the politics of all this. If something turns out to be right for me, my work, and my readers who like the option, then good for us.

Otherwise the reality is that not utilizing these various options available to me means far fewer Skyla books will be published, which sucks not just for me but the people who enjoy them. It also means the only people self-publishing will be those with higher incomes, and that pretty much sucks–lower income people have voices worth hearing too.

If me using Patreon offends (the proverbial) you and leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that’s fine–I understand. Having to choose between medication and paying my hydro bill in winter** leaves a bad taste in mine. I will pull income from all kinds of different streams to lessen the odds of me having to make those choices whenever I’m able to.

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So this is why I think there’s no right or wrong answer to crowdfunding, it’s something personal for artists to figure out on their own if they want to use it AND for readers/audiences to figure out on their own if they want to support them, and I am happily giving Patreon a shot in case it works for me for the reasons above.

Happy Monday.

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* I will likely not use IGG or KS to fund producing a book again for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the stress of it, but I’ve promised myself I will never ever take one of these options off the table either.

** Which is this month’s dilemma; last month’s was pills or rent. Fun times.

 

ETA: Where I got real personal with this (as I tend to do, since I like talking about me) Sir Wendig of the Wise and Bearded went broader and tackled some of the criticisms quite eloquently, and his post is absolutely worth a read. I agree entirely.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Demons of Oblivion, life, oblivion, patreon, personal, writers and readers

March 10, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 2 Comments

Why I Write the Terrible Things I Write

photo credit: Leanne Surfleet via photopin cc
photo credit: Leanne Surfleet via photopin cc

This post came from this essay in the sense there were a few lines I’ve heard repeatedly in a lot of conversations over the years, which got me thinking on these topics, but it’s not a response to said essay. So while I may be using it as a jumping off point as it’s the most recent time I’ve read these sorts of comments, it’s not about that other post and if you have problems with that essay, it’s best to take it to the original site in question.

[Rape]’s a part of our entertainment. Of course Top of the Lake or The Killing didn’t spare me from the gory details of their fictional gang-rapes. Why would they? We’re used to this. We aren’t horrified anymore because it happens so fucking often. Women are victimized, women are victimized, women are victimized. Bodies chopped up. Invaded. Buried. The end. Tune in next week. There is an entire Law and Order series dedicated to sexual crimes. We tune in to watch it with a tacit acceptance. A sigh. Yes, this happens. What a shame. We shrug and watch and feel better that fictional justice is meted out, but don’t worry about the fact that no one helped her in the moment.

This is, I think, a valid criticism worth a lot of discussion. Some authors have come out over the past few years to say no, in their fiction, their heroines will not experience rape. Yes it’s part of life for many, yes it happens in the “real” world, but it doesn’t have to happen in their fictional worlds. They are going to tell stories full of conflict and not have their heroines raped because it’s such a shortcut, an easy way to give a woman a painful backstory or explain a prickly personality.

Again, valid. I respect the hell out of that. That choice is no more wrong than my choice not to maim kittens in my books or another writer’s choice not to harm fictional children.

But I am coming out to say the opposite.

You write a lot of books, you start to notice themes you come back to again and again. I keep coming back to betrayal, self-reliance vs accepting help, self-harm and self-loathing, abandonment, the capacity to commit violence, insanity. I’ll probably continue writing those subjects. And for the foreseeable future, I will continue to write about sexual assault. Sometimes as part of backstory, sometimes in the novels themselves. Not every hero or heroine, not every female character, not in every book. But it will be ever-present in my fiction and it will never be off the table.

I am just as tired as others of seeing sexual violence, in particular (but not exclusively) against women, be treated as exploitative, titillating, and lazy storytelling. I’ve been really hurt by these depictions by authors who didn’t bother to understand the psychology of different survivors, or who treated sexual assault as a plot device with no consideration of realistic consequences. But I think the two responses–one of not having a heroine assaulted and one of approaching assault with care and nuance–are both valid and dovetail one another’s efforts to combat rape culture.

I write these stories, in short, because I need to. And I know others need to read them.

I wrote this post specifically because someone very close to me was molested as a child by a family member and to this day no one will talk about it with her. Her family won’t acknowledge it. She was repeatedly silenced as a young woman when she tried to come forward in an effort to protect another child, and when leaving an abusive marriage as an adult in the 70s, she was once again silenced. And the more I listened to her, the more I realized how often she’d been shut down and no one had said those very simple words–I believe you–because it made them uncomfortable to acknowledge it, the more determined I became to tell these stories and explore all facets of being a survivor.

The survivors who fight back.

The survivors who don’t.

The survivors who learn to be okay again.

The survivors who continue to struggle years later.

The survivors in denial.

The survivors who become self-destructive.

The survivors who are believed.

The survivors who are blamed.

The criticisms of, say, a show like Law & Order: SUV are understandable. My heart goes out to those who cannot stomach it and find it triggering. But there is no denying the number of survivors who find it cathartic–those who watched an experience start similar to their own but play out in a way where the victim was believed, where authorities fought for him or her. That catharsis is just as important and valid for them as the choice not to watch those stories.

Choosing to view or write these stories, to utilize them in order to help process and heal, and to safely explore in a self-controlled setting a subject that is about having control taken away, is valid and important.

My characters exist in worlds where sexual violence is a real, sometimes experienced threat, just like I and others in my life do. But unlike ours, these fictional worlds allow me to go beyond and show more. Men who force women aren’t romanticized. Consent matters. Survivors are believed and their experiences are validated. Wounds scar but heal. Assaulting and being assaulted has consequences. Characters find strength even when they’re bruised, broken, and betrayed. In stories, despite it being a fictional account, I can say in the text that I believe you. I believe this thing happened to you, and I’m sorry, and the world isn’t always fair to people who have been through that but you have and will continue to survive.

These are stories I still need to tell and to explore. What happened to Zara in Exhumed and how she continued to deal with it in Damaged was a story of hers I needed to tell and something I needed to explore. The other books of mine on my harddrive you’ve not read but that deal with these subjects are areas I needed to explore.

I just handed a book to my beta reader with a scene where a woman who has survived previous intimate partner violence fought back during an attempted date rape. It was difficult and ugly and a scene that would likely trigger people. I had to get drunk to write it. It still makes me queasy. But the story needed it, the character needed it, and I needed it. I needed that moment when she decides not to be frozen, or passive, or “nice” for once in her life; I needed the moment she faces the terror of saying “This is not okay” when it’s been ingrained in her to just lie back and accept; I needed the moment when she fights back; I needed the moment when she realizes that has just as many consequences as not fighting back. And as she says in the current WIP:

“They get away with it. They have everything. And I have to live with it. The times I didn’t fight back and the time I did. Every goddamn day, I live with it.”

My books will (likely) always explore what it means to live with it.

Above entertainment and to make a living, I write to give myself strength. I write to change the things that happen to me and others. I write to explore the people I know I’m not and the people I’m afraid I am. I write to process and to understand; I write for catharsis; I write to express trauma and transmute reality. I write to give the darkness in me a place to go. I write to have and to give hope.  And I write what I write because it’s necessary for me to survive.

I have nothing but respect for those who don’t want to live with it in fiction when they already do in their real lives, and who provide stories without rape. Many readers need that.

But no matter how weary the subject can make me, no matter how tired I am of this reality, I can’t. And it’s okay if my books aren’t for you because of that. I write for those who, for whatever reason, need these stories to be told.

I write stories about terrible things because I need to tell them.

———–

Note: This was a difficult thing for me to post. Behave in the comments.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: exhumed, feminism, life, personal, writers and readers, writing, zara lain

December 24, 2013 By Skyla Dawn Cameron

What You Can Get Your Favourite Writer for Christmas

These damn things are always popping up, especially around holidays: helpful guides so YOU, gentle reader, can help your favourite writer! Because, apparently, just buying our books aren’t enough–now you have to “like” our pages, follow our pins, review everything we’ve written (ALWAYS with five stars), blog, digg, tweet, stumble, and foist our books upon your family and friends.

Well…now, to be honest, I did send out a note of thanks the other day to peeps who have reviewed my books because that DOES totally help–I’ve heard from people who didn’t think they’d dig another vampire book and bought it because of y’all talking it up. Those new fans are because of you. So thank you!

If you do that stuff, it’s great. Really.

But that’s not what I want for Christmas.

No, my lovely readers. Here are some things you can get your favourite writers–like, say, me–for Christmas.

 

1. Booze.

SKYY_Vodka__26601_zoomLet’s face it: the Hemingway stereotype exists because it’s true. Your favourite writer is probably a drunk.

So we like booze. A wide variety of it. Some are pickier than others, but a lot of writers will drink nail polish remover if that’s all they have, so don’t stress about it. You can go classy with wine, but whiskey is often a good choice. Vodka’s a safe bet as well.

Besides numbing the cold, ugly pain of being a working writer, you might also increase your favourite author’s output if they like drinking while writing. It might also lead to an increased number of car chases and sex scenes, at least in my case. Er, fictional ones. Because drinking and driving is not cool, you guys.

2. Kittens

Not all writers are cat people, but a fair number of them are, because cats are evil and so are your favourite authors.

The reason why that book made you cry that one time? That was because of a cat, probably. A cat made the author write that stuff. They enjoy the death and suffering of humans and use their otherworldly powers to make us write those heart-wrenching scenes you love.

If your favourite writer isn’t a cat person, kittens still work because everyone likes them.

3. Firemen

Usually the only time firemen come to my place is when I accidentally set something on fire in the oven or that time my neighbour fell down the stairs and I called All The Emergency Services to come and help him.

I’m just saying, it would be nice to have one around without something burning or bleeding, you know?

If your author doesn’t want a fireman–and, I mean, they SHOULD since it’s useful to have one around the house–you can send him to me and I’ll find a spot for him among all my cats.

Bonus: Combine all of the above.

‘Nuff said.

4. Shovel Our Driveways

I know it’s not glamorous and doesn’t fit under a tree, but for your favourite writers up north, this would make a great gift. Right now there’s a foot of snow in front of my apartment and I don’t even own a shovel.

It looks exactly like this outside right now, I swear.

photo credit: Nanagyei via photopin cc
photo credit: Nanagyei via photopin cc

So please, dear readers, feel free to come to my house and deal with snow for me.

5. Patronage

Writing actually does pay the bills. Some of them. Small bills. Rarely rent. Most of us work at least one or two other jobs to support ourselves while writing.

Don’t discount giving us large sums of money for Christmas.

I can write a solid draft of a 100K novel in 6-8 weeks if that’s all I’m doing. So…you know, dropping a wad of cash our way, like a grant? That’d make us happy. We like money. We will write you books for money. Become our patron.

6. A Game Console

A lot of writers are gamers. Sometimes when we’ve spent the whole day killing the characters you love, we end up exhausted and we need to unwind by…killing other people’s characters.

Left_4_deadxj37

I am very behind the times–I don’t even know what’s out anymore–but a good ol’ fashioned zombie-killing game (combined with the fireman above for a gaming partner plus some booze) might be just what your favourite author needs.

 7. Ice Cream

Some days we get a bunch of rejections, bad reviews, Word crashes and we lose our manuscripts, and then the landlord drops by unexpectedly without realizing we work from home and sees us not wearing pants sitting in a bathrobe stained with our own tears.

Ice cream doesn’t fix it but when we spill it on our robes, it disguises the tears. This is the one thing that makes it superior to cupcakes (a difficult task)

8. Yarn

If your favourite writer is a knitter, s/he will appreciate more yarn. If not, their cats will. Plus I can tie up my fireman with it. EVERYONE WINS.

9. Coffee

Not all writers are coffee-drinkers; some are bizarre creatures who subsist entirely on tea. I suppose I understand as long as the tea is caffeinated.

The truth is, most writers are fueled by caffeine. It’s a magical substance that flows through our veins and makes us forget that carpal tunnel syndrome has kicked in and the discs in our spines have fused from sitting for long hours. So give us coffee. Lots of coffee.

Bonus:

Chocolate covered coffee beans.

download

THEY’RE HEALTHY. THE BAG EVEN SAYS SO.

So there you have it: what you can get your favourite writer for Christmas, or any holiday, really.

If you REALLY want to give us positive reviews and tweet the fuck out of our books and hypnotize people into buying them, that’s GREAT.

But a bottle of vodka will do just as well.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: fun, gifts, holidays, writers and readers

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MEET SKYLA DAWN

Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
Fifth-generation crazy cat lady. Bitchy feminist.
So tired all the goddamn time.

My characters kill people so I don’t have to.

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What I’m Working On:

Writing Elis 5. Also kind of sort of writing Waverly 8.

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.