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My characters kill people so I don't have to.

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The Death of Livi Talbot (Extended Explanation)

For folks still hitting this page 3+ years later: I still have no ETA on the final book. It’s a time massive commitment to research and write, which means time away from other paid work and other writing commitments. Finding time and money for that, atop the years of stress from this series (I have a panic attack even trying to reread the earlier books to remember them as every shitty thing a reader ever said to me just enters my head when I do) means I have not written the seventh. I have absolutely no idea when I will.

Buckle in for a long one.

This is an incredibly difficult post for me to write but I want readers to have a heads-up about the situation, and I’ve always tried to be as transparent as I can (much to the chagrin to those who think I should just shut up and write).

I warned about this when Solomon’s Seal was first published in 2016.

I said this series is on life support when piracy first started. I explained about delays. I have said over and over that I cannot continue a series that isn’t selling, especially when it is being stolen more than bought. I have had pirate after pirate hit my page set up with certain search terms for them to find, so they know what is at stake.

Now here we are.

The Numbers

I hate bringing up the numbers because it’s so embarrassing and demoralizing but it feels like the only thing some folks will understand.

The latest Livi Talbot book, Yampellec’s Idol, released June 1–six months ago.

It’s been in my head since I wrote the first book in 2012.

I started writing it in 2018.

It is 150 000 words and required several drafts. We’re talking a good four to five hundred hours of my time just with the physical act of writing/revising. Not including the hours of research, reading books and academic papers (books and papers that ran me about $120, btw). Not including the time spent on the cover (just the stock ran me another $40 btw) and the interior formatting and all the administrative stuff that comes with publishing a book. The editors and proofers involved all worked on it as a favour to me–if not for that, and because I can do just about everything else myself, the book would not have been published.

In those six months, Yampellec’s Idol has made about $900. Canadian. (That’s $700 USD.)

Please really consider those numbers for a moment. Consider that to produce that book, I have to a) spend money out of pocket to begin with, b) favour it over paid work, and c) strain my physical health with long hours at the computer. Consider what your own bills cost just a month let alone for a year.

This is not even poverty wages at this point–it’s well beyond that.

I write because I have to–it’s the only thing I can do. But what I write and certainly what I publish comes down to money.

I’ve gotten this far, hands down, because of monthly support on Patreon. There is no question about that. It does not mean that those who buy the books and support them the traditional way don’t matter–but it means those sales alone simply cannot support the series. Look at those numbers. The bulk came in June and July, the rest petering out to a couple of books sold a month afterward. As much as I appreciate every single one of those sales–$150/month covers my hydro bill!–in another six months that’ll be down to maybe $15/month for that book since it’s still a “new” release. It’s the regular income from Patreon that has allowed me to keep writing these books because that money buys me time.

Factoring theft into it now? Work from nearly ten years of my life being copied and distributed without my consent, while I live in poverty and these are my sales numbers? Nope.

I have made the books affordable and available everywhere I conceivably can with no geographical restrictions. I run sales regularly. I gave away books at the start of the pandemic. I am super cognizant of all the excuses folks have for stealing. I have warned that there are consequences when you steal from a poor person, and that is: no more books.

Talked Off the Ledge

Last night, I was so upset I wanted to nuke my entire career and just walk away

So many writers complain about piracy and keep going anyway. And I cannot speak to them and their circumstances or how they do it.

But I…have been through things in my life. Terrible things that involved having control and autonomy forcefully taken from me. Violation of my rights sets off all kinds of sparks in my brain where I go into a panic and relive all kinds of things and the feeling of being trapped. Therefore my first instinct is to grab for any control I have–like cancelling a series.

Do I need professional help for this? Probably! (But therapy? In this economy?) Even if I had that, it wouldn’t change the fact that sales are not sustaining the writing of these books.

I pointed out, last night, “I cancelled River Wolfe over this. I cancelled Demons of Oblivion. I cancelled Elis outside of Patreon. I have done this before and never regretted it.”

“Yes,” my very tired platonic murder wife said, “but this is different. Because you have built this series with the support of all these other people at Patreon. You’ll feel different if you nuke the series this time because of what they’ve invested. But I still support you if you’d rather sell panties on the internet instead.”

She is not wrong.

So no, I am not here today to push the nuclear button and blow everything up.

But I have very limited paths forward at this point and there are choices to be made.

A Different Set of Numbers

I have been rationing groceries all month.

That is probably not as dire as it sounds because, due to pandemic anxiety, I have like ten boxes of oatmeal and other supplies. I’m not starving, I just have to get creative with certain meals being out of various supplies (tonight I’m trying vegan mac and cheese with a tin of coconut milk).

Shawn needs some teeth out. His poor little mouth is red and enflamed, and while he’s still eating, we’ve had to stop brushing his teeth because he’s sore. His surgery is next month and the worst-case scenario quote is $1500. Every extra penny I get has been going there which means I don’t get groceries, I don’t get to rent a movie, I don’t get takeout, I can’t do my Xmas shopping until next month when I’m sure Shawn is paid for. I’m running various sales in the hopes someone will be interested because I’m still short, and though I’m sure I’ll make it up through work in the next four weeks, we might need to see the vet sooner with an eye infection he’s developed.

This is not unusual for me. This is how I live day to day. One expense means I can’t afford to eat. When I’m sick and bedridden–as I was for much of this year–I can barely get enough work done to keep a roof over my head.

I cannot pay my vet in screenshots of all the illegal downloads of my books.

The End Is Nigh (with caveats)

Charon’s Gold, Livi 6, went up for preorder last month. Those numbers are…embarrassingly low. I know a lot of folks don’t know it’s scheduled yet, and others will wait until next year to preorder, but I also know plenty were upset about Yampellec’s Idol (*cough*thebooksaren’tromancesFFS*cough*) so there’s going to be a big dip in readers from 5 to 6. That’s just a fact: as low as YI’s sales numbers are, CG’s are going to be even lower by the time it comes out.

This is to say I was already considering where I can end this series when all this went down last night.

A big part of me wants to just…walk away right now. Take my toys and go home. Cancel Charon’s Gold and be done.

But last night I spent a lot of time rereading old messages from readers who reached out about how much Livi means to them. I went through my Patreon messages. I looked at the years of support folks have given me there, investing their extra pennies monthly to buy time away from freelancing for me to write.

You have trusted me with these stories.

I have to write these books, so yes, my feelings are important here, but this isn’t just about me. There must be recognition for what these books mean to so many of you and what you’ve invested in them. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to give the impression that you don’t matter. You do matter. You matter more to me than you probably will ever know.

I’m trying to balance that against what else I know is true: this series is not sustaining itself and the psychological damage from theft of my labour cannot continue.

The likelihood is that Livi #7 will be the last widely published book.

It wouldn’t be the end of the series, and it won’t have an HEA, but it doesn’t have an emotional cliffhanger the way some of the others do and I might be able to tie off some broader plot things.

I will not leave you hanging. I will ensure it’s satisfying and caps off an arc, and can be interpreted as a sort of HFN (NOT a romantic one–that was never going to be in the cards).

This is not what I want but, to be perfectly honest, I need to do this for my own health–both physical and mental.

“Widely published” is the operative word there. There are five more books after #7 that are stories I want to tell and I will have to find other ways of doing so, whether it’s Patreon only and paperback releases like Elis’s books or something else I haven’t thought of. I don’t know yet. But I’m going to take some time to figure it out. #7 doesn’t have a final title and isn’t written yet, so the very earliest you’ll see it is late 2023. I have two years to make firm plans.

tl;dr

So here’s what all this looks like:

  • Charon’s Gold (Livi 6) releases October 22 2022 as planned
  • Untitled Livi 7 releases late 2023/early 2024 (tbd–it’s not written yet) and for all intents and purposes it’ll act as the last book.
  • Livi 8-12…I figure something out, probably using them as Patreon rewards.

Here’s what I can guarantee about the end of 7:

  • it’s will work as an HFN (happily for now) for Livi as a person (NOT romantically)
  • it will not end on a cliffhanger
  • I will (hopefully) cap off one of the story arcs

Still…Maybe?

Maybe things will change?

I’m doubtful after all this time.

Livi has had five years to find an audience. Five years. That is more than a lot of series get. I don’t have money for Amazon or FB ads and I never will. I’ve had to rely entirely on word of mouth, and I know so many of you talk up the books–I appreciate that–and have helped spread the word, but… *points to numbers above* Every single year, the series picks up a few more readers than the one before, so I’ve given it a lot of time–and going on six books now–as a leap of faith.

I think I’m about to hit the ground.

There is always hope things will change. I don’t need to be a bazillionaire–I just need to pay my bills and take care of my cats. Maybe regular series readers will jump to a few thousand over the next two years. Maybe Patreon income will continue to rise. Maybe something else I write will take off and bring in more readers, although Livi was the most high-concept and commercial of my books so I don’t know about that.

I’ve added a new Patreon goal detail–at $1000/month, whatever Livi Talbot books written past the seventh will be published widely regardless of low series sales because I’ll be able to devote more days a week to writing. That is the best promise I can make right now. That might take another ten years to reach, however, so don’t rely on that.

Why do you keep talking about this?

There is basically no winning as a public person with obligations to your readers.

I can keep quiet, reach book 7, and announce then “Yeah, guys, series is over! Sorry if it feels a bit unfinished but we’re done unless you head to Patreon!” And deal with the ensuing complaints.

I can be vague and and say “Oh my health’s not great” or “sales aren’t good” and get emails for years about why the next book isn’t out on Kindle yet.

And I can be upfront and say, look, this is what’s going on.

The thing I want folks to realize is that, although my first instinct is always to nuke everything, I ultimately give this a lot of thought. I never, ever am hasty about these decisions and weigh a lot of factors. And I don’t take the obligation to, and support from, readers lightly.

This comes with a risk that I’ll piss off even more people who find me off-putting, but I opt for transparency always. This is what’s going on. This is how I feel. Do with that what you will.

Is there something I can do?

Buy the books.

Tell your friends to buy the books.

Remove the books from piracy sites.

If you find a link to illegal downloads of my books, send them to me (anonymously, if you prefer) so I can get them taken down.

Do not request other books at piracy sites.

Do not upload the books to piracy sites.

Do not tolerate theft among your friends and family.

Join Patreon if you’re so inclined.

Honestly, many of you reading this are already doing everything. This isn’t your fault. You’ve already done so much and for that I thank you.


Only Read This Next Part if You’re a Thief

For several months this year, I was fairly certain I was going to die.

I was stuck in this no man’s land of healthcare where I couldn’t get seen. My autoimmune disease relapsed and I spent the better part of the year getting worse and worse until the pain was intense enough, the daily fevers worsening, the coughing and vomiting constant, that it suggested things were getting very bad for me. I had an emergency notice on the inside of my door with my medical history and emergency contact in the event I was found unresponsive. And I am the kind of person who doesn’t got to the ER when she has a fever of 104.3F or a broken foot, so when I am scared about something, it’s pretty serious.

This is who you’re stealing from. This is what the stress YOU create does to me. This is why, when I say I have to walk away from publishing to prevent you from stealing for the sake of my health, I’m being deadly serious.

If you have ever downloaded, uploaded, or requested a book from this series–if you’ve ever come to my site looking for illegal downloads or ways to bypass Patreon’s paywall (yes, I get your search results)–you have contributed to this decision. You have killed multiple series and now you’ve done it to Livi too.

How can you purport to love books when this is what you do to the people responsible for them existing?

November 28, 2021 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 2 Comments

The Death of Livi Talbot

For folks still hitting this page 3+ years later: I still have no ETA on the final book. It’s a time massive commitment to research and write, which means time away from other paid work and other writing commitments. Finding time and money for that, atop the years of stress from this series (I have a panic attack even trying to reread the earlier books to remember them as every shitty thing a reader ever said to me just enters my head when I do) means I have not written the seventh. I have absolutely no idea when I will.

Original Post:

This is really hard for me.

I really debated posting this all day. Like I want to get this out of the way as soon as possible, but I also don’t want to clog up the blog with another big long depressing thing that a lot of folks probably don’t want to read.

I warned about this when Solomon’s Seal was first published in 2016.

I said this series is on life support when piracy first started in 2017. I explained about delays. I have said over and over that I cannot continue a series that isn’t selling, especially when it is being stolen more than bought. I have had pirate after pirate hit my page set up with certain search terms for them to find, so they know what is at stake.

Now here we are.

So to summarize: sales have been not-great for the latest book and series in general. Preorders for the next are embarrassingly low. New books have popped up for illegal download this month.

These combined factors and ensuing stress has had me debating for the past twenty-four hours what to do, and after talking it over with a friend, and weighing all the factors including the tremendous support from so many of you…

The likelihood is that Livi #7 will be the last widely published book.

  • Charon’s Gold will still release October 2022 as planned, in ebook and paperback.
  • The as-yet untitled Livi Talbot seventh book will hopefully release late 2023/early 2024
  • It will conclude the series of publicly available books.
  • The final five (#8-12) will probably find a home on Patreon somehow (I haven’t decided how yet but I’ve got a few years to plan; Elis will finish up and I could serialize Livi there next)

I am sorry this hurts some people. I don’t want to hurt anyone. You’ve had so much faith in me and the books, I don’t want to let you down. But I…I can’t handle anymore of this with these books. I cannot handle the violation of my rights and what the triggers for me. Ultimately, this feels like a better option then just cancelling everything outright. #7 doesn’t end on a cliffhanger and I think it can close off some of the arcs so it’s satisfying–it gives me time to close some loops and gives you time to know what’s coming.

I do not make this decision lightly but I think I have to do it in order to protect my mental and physical health.

I have a longer explanation here that gets personal and goes into a lot of factors I weighed, for those interested, including the financial considerations.

I will guess at a couple of FAQs:

Is this a done deal? More than likely. The series has had five years to pick up enough sales to sustain it. #5 and #6 were only written because of monthly Patreon support covering bills so that I could write them–this has been a long time coming. I cannot fathom suddenly gaining enough readers to change things.

Can you still keep writing them with Patreon? I can and I will–that’s what I’ve said here. They’ll just go the way of Elis’s books and become Patreon stories rather than publicly published.

Will Livi and West– No. This series is not paranormal romance; it’s urban fantasy. No one is getting a romantic HEA; I wouldn’t tack that onto the end of a book where it doesn’t fit to begin with. Livi, on her own, will get a happily-for-now because I don’t want to leave folks hanging, but nothing about this series has ever been Genre Romance. Their relationship is one aspect of MANY that make up the books. Please stop yelling at me.

Is it a ploy for more patrons? Nope! I figure those who want to join can but I don’t anticipate many regular readers who buy to translate into the subscription model. That’s why I’m trying to give them some kind of closure with Livi #7, so they don’t feel they need to join as patrons.

This is completely and totally for my own health. I’ve spent twenty-four hours crying and shaking, paralyzed and unable to write, and the only reason I’m not vomiting is because I’m so stressed I can’t eat anything.

I want loyal (paying) readers to see the end of where this is going–I know the ending of the twelfth book and I am still eager to get there. But I cannot handle this situation any longer.

Sometimes self-care isn’t a bubble bath–it’s protecting your intellectual property any way you can.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: charon's gold, epub, livi talbot, mobi, patreon, pdf, piracy, shiva's bow, tiger's memory, torrent, yampellec's idol

August 25, 2020 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

At Least Fall Is Almost Here

I hate summer. I have always hated summer. The heat is too much for me and I break into hives in the sun.

Summer in 2020, This Year of Our Collective Demise, especially is unpleasant, even with the shades down and a/c on. I’ve had two back-to-back veterinary emergencies (three, technically, although the third was an injury that has not yet called for a vet). I slept a combined ten hours last week as Shawn required eye drops every 2-3 hours round the clock–which is a lot like hand-raising him was, except without the constant terror he was about to die. Still, it meant I was useless for work, losing a week just as I was getting caught up.

At least I didn’t fracture any more bones?

I’m not as in as bad shape as I was a few months ago, but it’s still a lot of added pressure. But regardless, I’m taking a couple of weeks off next month–actual planned time off, instead of enforced by illness or injury–with no expectations on myself except to get some house cleaning/purging done. I would love to get some writing done–and prior to the last couple of weeks I was super productive as well–but at this point any kind of plan for anything sends me into a panic attack.

Speaking of, I hope to have some news about projects in the fall. I have three zero drafts in progress, and one of them is a standalone–I keep wondering if somehow I can shift my brain to something like that over series.

My brain is not wired for standalone–even if only one book comes out, like Soulless, there are still more in my head–but it might be the best way to continue. I constantly feel like I’m disappointing people when I have series in progress but long periods of time between releases, which makes it even harder to write. Add onto that the piracy and, well…

Yeah, the piracy. So I talked about Dawning and the one person who preordered who then uploaded the file the day of release. That book has been illegally downloaded more than three times the number that has been bought.

Then last week Blood Ties went up. Blood Ties, btw, has been out for two and a half months, and I’ve made less than two hundred dollars* on it.

I was actually pleased with that because it’s a new series and something I wrote for fun, so I wasn’t anticipating anyone buying it…but it’s hard to be pleased with it when it goes weeks without selling and then is being pirated. I spent a year on that book, between multiple drafts and editors, bought boutique stock for it, and…yeah.

Witch Hunt is coming because it’s already started and I already paid for the stock, but at this point I’m only planning to have it serialize on Patreon and then come out publicly in paperback for die-hard fans. If there’s an ebook release, it’ll be far down the road–like a year after initial release. I am truly sorry for that, but it’s the only way I can work on the sequel–I have to close the door to it ever being stolen, otherwise it’ll never get written.

So for all intents and purposes, that series (projected 4-6 books) is dead in the water.

I’m really disappointed. I didn’t get to finish the Demons of Oblivion series for the same reason, so Witch Hunt was going to have some flashbacks with Elis’s mother and you would’ve found out how she died. There was so much I wanted to do there, and I’ll still try to do it as a Patreon serial, but I’m heartbroken.

Which is why I’m back to wondering how I can possibly write standalones. If it didn’t take so goddamn long, I’d write two to three in a series first before publishing them, but taking the time to do that while paying the bills gets…challenging.

Anyway, who knows if we’re going to survive the rest of the year, so it might all be a moot point!

I hope the summer has been kinder to you than it has to me, but then again there’s a global pandemic and many of you are in the US so…gonna guess probably not.

We’re not all in the same boat, but we’re in the same storm, and I hope you’re weathering it.


* I hate even bringing up such a number, but that’s the reality of a new book in a new series–readers rarely carry from series to series–as well as the reality of independent publishing when you have no resources to advertise. I did the math on the Livi series recently: Solomon’s Seal has been out for four years and it has sold the best of all the books…and in that time I have made enough to cover six weeks of living expenses.

I spent four years on that book.

If you stumble across this page looking for pirated copies of any of these books, please understand that this is the reality of my income as a writer. I live below the poverty level and I suffer financially to publish these books–that is why I cancel series when you steal them.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: blood ties, elis o'connor, epub, free download, free read, livi talbot, mobi, pdf, skyla dawn cameron, update, witch hunt

November 9, 2019 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 1 Comment

A (Lengthy) Word About Livi #5

Nov 21 update: the series has been cancelled prematurely.

As mentioned on the blog, it’s been a rough couple of months. Well, a rough year. Years. Decade. Life. Whatever.

But anyway, this fall also brought also brought a sudden inexplicable sales drop on all sites but Kobo, the worst it’s been in several years, right after I had a good month with Shiva’s Bow‘s release. It was baffling, honestly, and completely against the trend of this past year.

Except it also coincided with a sudden spike in piracy.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: azw, emperor's tomb, epub, free download, livi talbot, mobi, odin's spear, pdf, read online, shiva's bow, skyla dawn cameron epub, skyla dawn cameron mobi, solomon's seal, tiger's memory, yampellec's idol

April 7, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

Wherein Livi Talbot’s on Life Support

Nov 21 Update: the series has been cancelled prematurely.

So titled because of this post. Hey, I like carrying a rough metaphor through, okay?

If you’ll indulge me for a moment, there are some things I have to get off my chest, and it may be lengthy and something I regret, but this is my page so, well, here we go–whatever, I do what I want.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: epub, life, livi talbot, mobi, news, odin's spear, pdf, personal, piracy, rant, solomon's seal, torrent, update, writers and readers, writing

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MEET SKYLA DAWN

Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
Fifth-generation crazy cat lady. Bitchy feminist.
So tired all the goddamn time.

My characters kill people so I don’t have to.

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Writing Elis 5. Also kind of sort of writing Waverly 8.

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.