It’s been nearly a month since my last post. I wouldn’t say things are improving–my physical health is…apparently not optimal. I’ve got some tests in the next few weeks to see if the increased medication dose is having not great side effects or if it’s something else; then in June, seeing if my treatment should be swapped for something else if it’s not working (there are indications it is not as it should be).

Clinically, I feel fine, at least, but the possibilities of these other things wrong are starting to stress me out a lot. Perhaps the only good news is that at no point did my doctor say I had to go back on prednisone–for me, that was the absolute worst-case scenario, as I thought it was going to kill me last year.

So there’s that.

I’m “taking a level of Fitness” right now (in DnD-speak), which should at least up my Constitution and eventually my Strength. It may not help but it gives me the feeling of having at least a little bit of control. My doctor, too, is excellent and on top of everything, so if I’m vague about things here, that is intentional–I don’t want advice, I don’t want “help” (unless I ask directly for it), so please just wish me well in a non-stressful way if you have to say anything. And buy my books. Because it’s expensive to be sick, and I have to take some time off in the next few months for procedures and things.

Tomorrow is Gus’s anniversary, which is a rough one on top of a lot of bad April ones. Cuddle your four-legged friends for him, folks.

But all that’s not why I’m posting today (well–I am for the buy-my-books part, I guess). We’re here for an unboxing–my paperback copies of The Killing Beach are here.

Let’s turn it over to my marketing director, Shawn.

Signed copies are available now at Etsy. When ordering direct, you also get a coupon code to download a free eBook copy via my Payhip store. Signed hardcovers–including in awesome gift boxes with other goodies–are coming by the end of the month.

Any orders of print before May 28th, whether from Etsy or on Amazon, and you’ll get the preorder gift delivered via email on the 28th.

If ordering on Amazon, you’ll have to forward your receipt, but buying from me, I’ll just put you on the list. If you’re waiting for the signed hardcover, again, check back in a few weeks.

I do want to stress for a moment that, despite the Nancy Drew homage covers on the hardcovers, these are not cozy mysteries. These books get dark. Waverly is easily classified as “unlikable” (though two early readers familiar with my books ended up loving her). My politics as an abolitionist very much saturate every book in this series. I want people to read these, of course, but it is not for everyone and y’all have been warned.

I am so pleased this is nearly here, though. It was almost six years ago that I started playing with the idea–I got mad about Twin Peaks: The Return and suddenly Waverly Jones wouldn’t leave me alone. It went through many false starts and has completely morphed from what I had planned originally. I thought, many times, that I’d never finish it. I almost gave up, in fact, right before I did finish it in 2021. I took private investigator training to give myself a better basis for this series. More revisions, more edits…and here we are.

I am very proud of this book. Very proud of this series.

It’s a struggle sometimes for readers to move from one series to another, and a new genre entirely is a huge ask. So those of you giving this a try: my sincerest thank you. I really hope Waverly is exactly what you need right now.

In November I’ll be adding #2, and next April #3 (after that, probably one book a year). My other paperback shelf is full now, so here she is on my desk with her biggest influences.

I also wanted to share a link to Lilith Saintcrow’s weekly reading series where she just shared her love of The Silent Places. Head here for that, and then sign up to watch her live every Friday on Twitch where she talks about books.

Well I certainly fell off the attempts to regularly blog.

The main explanation is that I was blogging while on my treadmill. That’s no longer a thing as the motor burnt out a few weeks ago. Partly probably because it’s a cheaper model, but also the cat hair didn’t help. I thought I was cleaning around it sufficiently but apparently not.

So that’s been a very expensive mistake that I spent months saving up for first when I got it two years ago and then again to get the standing desk. I now have a 600-dollar 70-lbs paperweight (and 300-dollar desk that’s little more than a cat toy)–I don’t drive, so I’ll have to hire the junk people to come and remove the treadmill, and that’ll be another couple hundred dollars. Even if I could afford the risk to get a new one, I can’t while this one’s still here.

It’s definitely contributed to the depressive episode I’m in right now. I am so discouraged with so many things. The increase cost of living, the last book tanking so spectacularly (which the new mystery series seems likely to do as well), struggling to write, and now I’ve lost those couple of hours a day of walking. The snow will melt soon, so I’ll be able to start walking at night, but I have a lot of anxiety about leaving for even an hour (irrational anxiety, sure, but based in past trauma, and also housebound for three pandemic years).

If there’s a benefit of being suicidal since the age of thirteen (lol) it’s having the experience to know feelings are temporary and trying to keep going anyway. Take that shower, drink a lot of water, keep up with vitamins (that’s one of the reasons I have chewable ones). I even spent a couple of hours yesterday chopping veggies and doing food prep for the week: raw veggies for lunch and pasta salad.

I keep this one as my guiding light.

It doesn’t stop the fact that I just want to sleep and my brain is foggy and it’s taken forever to write this update, but it helps keeps me focused on the good things, and preventing me from spiraling.

I pre-planned quarterly breaks in my schedule as to not burn out (and putting a moratorium on favours this year so I don’t kill myself again this year) and the first is scheduled for the end of this month, which means I have edits to finish and some regular graphics work, and otherwise can be gentle with myself for the next two weeks. I’ve got the Waverly prequel short story off for edits, everything else for TKB ready, scheduling some Patreon posts, and I’m trying to get work done on Hell Fire. At least if I get it structured and something down, I can fill in [important conversation later] stuff when I feel better.

Otherwise, it’s me holding on by a thread, dragging my carcass through the motions, and playing my Magic Cat Collector Game.

Okay there’s more than magic cats but this is what I’m playing for. I’m also now up to fourteen (of twenty) found.

So if all’s quiet around here the next few weeks, that’s why–I’m shutting down a little and keeping to myself, but still alive, at least, and doing my best.