I Believe You

With Dylan Farrow’s story surfacing in this heartbreaking open letter in the New York Times, discussions have been popping up everywhere. Likely due to the sort of people I follow, anyone mentioning the story has been one hundred percent on her side. There are, of course, detractors and accusations of lies/confusion/coaching on the side of Mia Farrow, etc.

I do not have an opinion on any of those things (well, I do, but that’s not the point of this). That is not what I’m going to talk about here.

There are voices lost–voices silenced–as all of this is going down. Women and men, girls and boys, who have not and/or are not speaking up about assault because all of the accusations being lobbed toward Dylan Farrow are exactly what they fear. So I would like to take a moment to speak out to those survivors.

I believe you.

I don’t know you. Not your name, not your story. Not whether the abuse happened in the distant past or a year ago or yesterday or earlier today. I don’t know who abused you, who wielded their power like a weapon and sliced through your tongue to silence you. I don’t know all of the things going through your head right now, or whether you eventually spoke out, or kept quiet; whether you’ve built a new life or are still in a dark place.

But I believe you.

I don’t need to know any of those details. I don’t need to hear the “other side”. I don’t need to ask you questions about what happened or why you didn’t do this or that, nor do I require you to repeat the story a hundred times while I analyze it for errors.

I believe you.

Period. Full stop. The end. Nothing else.

I believe you.

You, there, at a computer screen, who somehow stumbled onto my little blog, who may not know me any more than I know you, or you who might follow me regularly from some place. You, who I might know personally but don’t realize you’ve been through this horrible thing because you’ve never spoken up. You, who I know for a fact has been assaulted.

I believe you.

You. You. The survivor. Even if a thousand voices right now are chanting about lying women and confused children and men can’t be raped and whatever other bullshit: if it helps, if it gives you any measure of comfort or strength or relief at all, cling to this one fact amid all the chaos around you.

I. Believe. You.

I will always believe you. I will never, ever doubt you when you say this horrible thing happened to you. We don’t need to meet, or speak; I don’t even need to know your name.

Whoever you are, wherever you are: I believe you.

I believe you.

If you are or have been a victim of sexual violence, there are resources available to help you. Contact your local crisis center or check out RAINN.org.