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Skyla Dawn Cameron

My characters kill people so I don't have to.

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February 22, 2015 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

Soundtrack Sunday – EXHUMED Edition

Exhumed-KindleWhen we last left Zara, she had fun kickass songs. Now…angst, angst, and MOAR ANGST.

It’s the Exhumed playlist.

Note: A lot of the standard Zara songs from the Bloodlines soundtrack also apply here but I didn’t want to repeat them.

 

Stone Sour – “Through Glass” 
Crazy!Nate song
But no one ever tells you//That forever feels like home//Sitting all alone inside your head

Slipknot – “Snuff“
MOAR Crazy!Nate, specifically when he asks her to kill him.
So if you love me, let me go

Des’ree – “Kissing You“
Kissy song. For the first kissy scene stuff, where Nate says he remembers everything.
But watching stars without you//My soul cried

Ben Cocks feat. Nikisha Reyes-Pile – “So Cold”
Now we get to the angst portion of the soundtrack.
You caused my heart to bleed and//You still owe me a reason

Damien Rice – “I Remember” 
MOAR ANGST. In all seriousness, it’s hard to beat this in terms of a song about the brutal pain of a breakup.
Nothing is taking me down//Except you, my love…

Michelle Featherstone – “Stay“
If I was sincere//Whispered my fears//Would you still be here?//Would you stay? 

Linkin Park – “In The End“
When Zara goes to the farmhouse and starts throwing people out the window/blasting away with her shotgun.
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know//I wasted it all just to watch you go

Adele – “Set Fire to the Rain”
So we get real literal here as Zara…kind of sets a house on fire. Much of the book deals with betrayal, or perceived betrayal, and this song could’ve been written for it.

Flyleaf – “Breathe Today“
When [spoilers] bursts into Nic/Peri’s house and attacks Zara in the latter half of the book, this was my chick fight song.

How to Destroy Angels – “A Drowning”
There’s a chapter called “Drowning” in the book, IIRC when Zara’s breaking down and Ellie’s the only one who understands (since he can see from her POV)–I specifically had this song in mind
I don’t think I can save myself//I’m drowning here

Pocahontas Soundtrack – “If I Never Knew You“
Okay, STOP LAUGHING. I MEAN IT, SHUT UP. Yes, the chapter in the book with that title was named after this song and played in my head the whole goddamn time. Because Nate is a fucking SAP and is laughing because he gave me this as an earworm.

Walls Of Jericho – “No Saving Me“
When Zara’s dragged out of “sleep”, while in the dungeon of the Court’s building.
How long will I take to bleed//These is no saving me//How far will you go to hold on

E.S. Posthumus – “Ebla”
Basically the entire final climax of the book had this song playing in the background for me.

Mumford & Sons – “I Gave You All“
This was originally my epilogue song when I pictured the end of the book.
I never meant you any harm//But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearms

Mika – “Happy Ending“
This ended up being the actual song I listened to the most while writing said epilogue, however.
This is the way you left me//I’m not pretending//No hope, no love, no glory//No Happy Ending//This is the way that we love//Like it’s forever//Then live the rest of our life//But not together

 

“9 Crimes” Bonus:

Damien Rice – “9 Crimes“
This should be fairly obvious given that it’s the title of the novella. I also listened to it a lot while writing Exhumed, but it was the theme song primarily for Nate’s story. (He actually makes me listen to a lot of Damien Rice. I don’t mind.)
It’s the wrong time//She’s pulling me through//It’s a small crime//And I’ve got no excuse

 

“Sunrise” Bonus:

Elvis Costello – “She“
I include it here because it also takes place during Exhumed, but when I wrote Nate’s short story, “Sunrise”, there’s a reference to this song too. It’s what Nate was creepily singing while painting bloody windows on the walls.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Demons of Oblivion, exhumed, soundtrack sunday, zara lain

February 3, 2015 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 13 Comments

Dearth of Empathy and Death of Zara Lain

First, the ground rules:

  1. I have been published for nine years and pirated for eight of them. Whatever pro-piracy, “chillax” argument you are going to make, I have heard it. And I don’t care. Your comments on this subject will not be approved.
  2. Speaking of, I have a very detailed comment policy. In a nutshell, when you visit my blog and step into my virtual home, you are entitled to my opinion; I am not entitled to yours.
  3. Since the point of this post is compassion and empathy, or lack thereof, I do recommend you step back and consider that before reacting in a way that proves my point.
  4. You can believe that piracy is great and right and STILL respect others’ wishes/opinions in this matter. I think vodka is great. I do not force others to partake of it.

Now…

*

Zara Lain is dead.

I’ve had very simple policies regarding books in the Demons of Oblivion series and its continuation.

The first is that future books depend on sales. As it was initially conceived as a five-book series (and only when I realized how Oblivion ended did I know there should be more books) with a particular arc that came to a conclusion with the fifth book, I knew I could end it at five and hopefully readers would be satisfied, but that there was room for more. And even after I said last year that I needed to let go of the possibility of book six and beyond since sales were so poor (despite being 3x what they were with a publisher) and it was stressing me out, I have always left the door open for more (for confirmation, check the description of the Patreon milestone “Oblivion and Beyond”).

Bloodlines-AReThe second policy was that if Exhumed ended up pirated, that was it. I would never, ever publish another Zara Lain book. Ever.

Searching for illegal copies of my books leads you to my site first where I make this abundantly clear. This has led to some people, over the past year, legitimately buying the books (including Bloodlines, which has been out there for pirating for a year and a half now). I have also reached out to/confronted any attempted pirate I found and asked them not to steal from me. It’s an exhaustive process but, generally, appealing to someone’s humanity as a fellow human is more effective than ranting and threatening legal action.

For some time these policies, combined with the sheer obscurity of me as a writer, has worked to keep most of my books from being illegally distributed.

This is no longer the case.

Therefore, Zara Lain is dead.

*

When a google alert on Sunday popped up to tell me Exhumed was being requested at a forum devoted to illegally distributing books, my heart sank but I headed over to try my best. I reached out to the pirate–who I have no doubt hit my website first, as they always do–and very nicely, very calmly asked her (I’m assuming “her” as, sadly, I find a great number of pirates are, because women seem to enjoy fucking over other women) to please not do this.

Please.

This book, I said, has sold little in the past month. I am not some big time author, I am really struggling with basic things like affording food and vet care for my ailing cat. Readers and writers have a symbiotic relationship; I cannot do my part–producing more books to be read–if readers do not do theirs by obtaining books legally. I suggested that perhaps she could visit her local library and request that they order a copy if she cannot afford the book.

This was one instance where appealing to someone’s humanity didn’t work.

“jdscott666” (aka “jd25” aka “bookho”) is responsible for the death of any potential the series had left. Unequivocally.

*

“But Skyla, YOU are the one choosing not to write them! You can’t punish everyone for one person’s actions!”

I get it. I do. But here’s the thing: I am the one who has to write these books.

I am the one who has to make financial sacrifices to write something that doesn’t earn a living wage. I am the one who has to face the word processor plagued by the knowledge that this book I’m pouring myself into is going to be illegally distributed more than bought; that if I bear my soul in this thing, this piece of art that has emotional resonance with people, I will eventually have my rights violated and consent disregarded.

I can tolerate low sales. I can tolerate piracy. I cannot tolerate both at the same time.

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This does affect legit readers. I feel terrible about that, I really do.

But however much you might love the characters and books, remember that they come from my brain. I live and breathe these fictional people. I’ve invested over a decade of my life into this series. These stories have parts of me in them.

I am also, whatever my faults, a woman of my word. When I say “If you do this thing, there will be a consequence”, I’m not making an idle threat. It’s been almost six years since Wolfe came out. Has there been another River novel? No. There hasn’t even been a short story(1). Like I said, piracy guaranteed I would never, ever go back and write another of those books. I said that if you pirate Exhumed, you will kill this series too.

I don’t bluff.

*

Exhumed-KindleExhumed…just about killed me to write.

I cried through most of it. It absolutely terrified me to go to the places I did with the book. I put my blood and tears into everything I write–those who know me see glimpses there in everything–but never as openly as I did with that book. That is my soul bared on the page. Out of the thirty+ books I’ve written, there are maybe half a dozen I can say that about.

It didn’t sell well. It was rarely reviewed and barely read. People spoiled the twists for readers within the first week of release. It didn’t make any favourite book/top reads lists.

But the handful of die-hard fans bought it, read it, and loved it. And it was a book I was tremendously proud of.

And now I cannot even describe for you what it feels like to have that book illegally distributed. The reader/writer agreement is, “Okay, here is a piece of my soul; you can have it and do with it what you will–hate it, tear it up, whatever–if you’ve paid for the thing.” Then NOT paying for the thing? Having my rights violated, my consent stomped all over? When I am having to have conversations with myself about whether or not it’s time to break down and go to the motherfucking food bank?

It is heartbreaking. And it hurts too much to even contemplate putting myself in this position again with these books.

*

A lot of people, when dealing with pirates, say, “It’s a shitty thing to do, but I don’t think you’re a bad person for stealing.”

Sometimes, I’d agree. I don’t think illegally distributing books in itself makes you a terrible person; I think intent matters a lot and I ultimately believe in a human being’s potential to do better.

But I do think that when the creator of something reaches out to you and says, “Please don’t do this; this harms me and those I care for, and has a tangible, negative impact on my life,” and you do it anyway…well, yes.

Yes, you are a TERRIBLE FUCKING PERSON.

You are lacking in empathy, either because you are an actual sociopath or because you have deluded yourself into believing your entitlement to cheat the system and read without abiding by the rules in place that ensure I can make a living outweighs my rights as the person who CREATED THE BOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE. You knowingly, deliberately, maliciously set out to hurt another person, and for what? A couple of hours of entertainment? This book would not exist without me, and to thank me for the contribution, you completely fuck me over?

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If you do this, you are a shitty person. Period. Full stop. No justification or excuses.

*

This dearth of empathy, quite frankly, scares the hell out of me.

Like the more and more we’re connected, the more we see avatars instead of people; the greater our access to content creators, the less human we see them as. If someone came to me and said, look, this thing you are doing that violates my rights is having a real negative impact on my life, so please do not do it? Fuck, I’d feel like shit. I’d try to find a way to make it right. I sure as hell wouldn’t double down.

I regularly write from the POV of murderers and monsters, and yet this is still baffling to me, how someone can feel so entitled to a book, they will disregard the creator’s wishes–how they can refuse to see that creator as human. How they justify their mentality of “want, take, have” and believe it trumps my right to things like groceries and veterinary care for my pets.

This lack of empathy is nothing to be proud of; in fact, I think we–as a society–should be shaming the fuck out of people who show so little regard for others. If we could take the amount of energy we put into shaming people for stupid shit like obesity or promiscuity and put it toward having no tolerance for actual character flaws like lacking empathy and willfully harming others, maybe humans wouldn’t be such a shitty species.

*

This bears linking to again.

The bottom line is that artists’ rights are workers’ rights. You are not being progressive or radical by denying artists the right to control their own work. You are not helping the underprivileged by making it impossible for anyone who isn’t already rich and privileged to take up artistic careers. Your pirated Taylor Swift song isn’t feeding the poor. If you want to fight the power, maybe try hacking JP Morgan instead of pirating a vampire romance for your Kindle.

As a writer, when you spend a lot of time sending takedown notices and dealing with this aspect of the business, you get pretty familiar with piracy sites. You see the same things over and over.

You see dozens of people thanking and giving praise to “all the hard work” someone put into a torrent of three hundred books.

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These people are able to disconnect the book from the author so much that it doesn’t even occur to them to THANK THEM FOR WRITING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Not that we can live on praise and thanks alone, of course, but that the writer is left entirely out of the equation is very telling.

I fully support ebook (and movie) piracy in specific instances, like smuggling content across the border to North Korea. That is hugely important work making a difference within that country. But we are not talking about distributing work across tightly controlled borders to help oppressed people see what’s happening elsewhere in the world.

We are talking about people who claim to love books and yet actively work to ensure the people who produce them can’t make any more.

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And this is absolutely baffling to me, in part because for a long time I have been very poor and therefore very aware of how I spend my money. I shop local as much as possible, even if it means spending a bit more money. I buy books by my friends even if they’d give me a free copy. If I like a thing, I try to ensure my pennies to toward supporting it, and even if I DON’T like a thing, other than boycotting, I wouldn’t go out of my way to cause someone harm.

*

“Nothing you say here, Skyla, will make a difference.”

That? That does not make me feel better, you realize.

I am fully aware that I am shouting into the void. That talking about piracy makes me a target for more of it (because, again, their entitlement blinds them to the fact that I am an actual person and that it is a shitty thing to work to harm another human being and her family for no reason). That it would be much easier if I could just flip a switch and stop caring about my work being stolen.

Let me tell you, you do not want to see what kind of person I will be if I stop caring about all these un-winnable fights.

I am told the same thing every time I take in a stray dog off the street, feed it, and try to find its home, or take in a cat when dear god I do not need another but it’s starving and freezing outside. “Just care a little less.” But as soon as we shut off that little part of us that empathizes and connects with others, the closer we get to being the kind of person who willfully disregards the rights and wishes of others.

And I don’t ever want to be that kind of person.

tumblr_me4id3inVk1rkw0kho1_250 tumblr_me4id3inVk1rkw0kho2_250

So I care. And I will speak up. Loudly. Even when it doesn’t appear to make a difference. Because the alternative is sitting back and pretending it’s okay, and I am not going to do that. I abhor dishonesty of any kind too much.

Please do not tell me to stop caring when someone violates my rights. Please do not tell me to stop caring when someone’s actions make it that much harder to keep the heat on. Please do not tell me to stop caring because “it’s never going away.”

How about instead, you start trying to care a little more?

*

“Seriously, Skyla, what the hell does this mean now?”

  • Nothing has changed for Oblivion.  Either I get to it when I get to it or, miracle of miracles, somehow Patreon reaches my sustainability goal first and then I will buckle down and prioritize it.
  • This has not changed the potential resurrection of Amends on Patreon. If that milestone is reached, Zara will rise again there, for that book only. I am undecided about whether or not, when it’s complete, I’ll release it for sale; it might remain exclusive to patrons.
  • Dial V for Vampire remains exclusive to my website shop and this is the only place a post-Oblivion world will be glimpsed.
  • Solace, Zara’s next full-length book in the series, will be written eventually because it’s a story I want to tell. And then it will sit on my harddrive, except for when it goes to visit close friends to be read. Absolutely no one will stop me from writing, because writing is breathing for me. But publishing? I will not publish a book only to have it stolen more than bought.

I am not rage-quitting writing or closing up shop. I have more stories to tell. More books will release at some point. I’ve been through this before and the wheel keeps turning.

Maybe the next books will sell better.

But, like River Wolfe, Zara Lain is dead, and will remain so.

*

tl;dr – piracy killed another series, wheee!

 

 

(1) Rebellion is still on my plate here, but I am so fucking depressed right now (and still dealing with med dosage changes fucking up my moods), I’d rather tackle my pile of paying work for a while. Hopefully it’ll still be done by the end of the month.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Demons of Oblivion, exhumed, news, piracy, rant, torrent, writers and readers, zara lain

March 10, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 2 Comments

Why I Write the Terrible Things I Write

photo credit: Leanne Surfleet via photopin cc
photo credit: Leanne Surfleet via photopin cc

This post came from this essay in the sense there were a few lines I’ve heard repeatedly in a lot of conversations over the years, which got me thinking on these topics, but it’s not a response to said essay. So while I may be using it as a jumping off point as it’s the most recent time I’ve read these sorts of comments, it’s not about that other post and if you have problems with that essay, it’s best to take it to the original site in question.

[Rape]’s a part of our entertainment. Of course Top of the Lake or The Killing didn’t spare me from the gory details of their fictional gang-rapes. Why would they? We’re used to this. We aren’t horrified anymore because it happens so fucking often. Women are victimized, women are victimized, women are victimized. Bodies chopped up. Invaded. Buried. The end. Tune in next week. There is an entire Law and Order series dedicated to sexual crimes. We tune in to watch it with a tacit acceptance. A sigh. Yes, this happens. What a shame. We shrug and watch and feel better that fictional justice is meted out, but don’t worry about the fact that no one helped her in the moment.

This is, I think, a valid criticism worth a lot of discussion. Some authors have come out over the past few years to say no, in their fiction, their heroines will not experience rape. Yes it’s part of life for many, yes it happens in the “real” world, but it doesn’t have to happen in their fictional worlds. They are going to tell stories full of conflict and not have their heroines raped because it’s such a shortcut, an easy way to give a woman a painful backstory or explain a prickly personality.

Again, valid. I respect the hell out of that. That choice is no more wrong than my choice not to maim kittens in my books or another writer’s choice not to harm fictional children.

But I am coming out to say the opposite.

You write a lot of books, you start to notice themes you come back to again and again. I keep coming back to betrayal, self-reliance vs accepting help, self-harm and self-loathing, abandonment, the capacity to commit violence, insanity. I’ll probably continue writing those subjects. And for the foreseeable future, I will continue to write about sexual assault. Sometimes as part of backstory, sometimes in the novels themselves. Not every hero or heroine, not every female character, not in every book. But it will be ever-present in my fiction and it will never be off the table.

I am just as tired as others of seeing sexual violence, in particular (but not exclusively) against women, be treated as exploitative, titillating, and lazy storytelling. I’ve been really hurt by these depictions by authors who didn’t bother to understand the psychology of different survivors, or who treated sexual assault as a plot device with no consideration of realistic consequences. But I think the two responses–one of not having a heroine assaulted and one of approaching assault with care and nuance–are both valid and dovetail one another’s efforts to combat rape culture.

I write these stories, in short, because I need to. And I know others need to read them.

I wrote this post specifically because someone very close to me was molested as a child by a family member and to this day no one will talk about it with her. Her family won’t acknowledge it. She was repeatedly silenced as a young woman when she tried to come forward in an effort to protect another child, and when leaving an abusive marriage as an adult in the 70s, she was once again silenced. And the more I listened to her, the more I realized how often she’d been shut down and no one had said those very simple words–I believe you–because it made them uncomfortable to acknowledge it, the more determined I became to tell these stories and explore all facets of being a survivor.

The survivors who fight back.

The survivors who don’t.

The survivors who learn to be okay again.

The survivors who continue to struggle years later.

The survivors in denial.

The survivors who become self-destructive.

The survivors who are believed.

The survivors who are blamed.

The criticisms of, say, a show like Law & Order: SUV are understandable. My heart goes out to those who cannot stomach it and find it triggering. But there is no denying the number of survivors who find it cathartic–those who watched an experience start similar to their own but play out in a way where the victim was believed, where authorities fought for him or her. That catharsis is just as important and valid for them as the choice not to watch those stories.

Choosing to view or write these stories, to utilize them in order to help process and heal, and to safely explore in a self-controlled setting a subject that is about having control taken away, is valid and important.

My characters exist in worlds where sexual violence is a real, sometimes experienced threat, just like I and others in my life do. But unlike ours, these fictional worlds allow me to go beyond and show more. Men who force women aren’t romanticized. Consent matters. Survivors are believed and their experiences are validated. Wounds scar but heal. Assaulting and being assaulted has consequences. Characters find strength even when they’re bruised, broken, and betrayed. In stories, despite it being a fictional account, I can say in the text that I believe you. I believe this thing happened to you, and I’m sorry, and the world isn’t always fair to people who have been through that but you have and will continue to survive.

These are stories I still need to tell and to explore. What happened to Zara in Exhumed and how she continued to deal with it in Damaged was a story of hers I needed to tell and something I needed to explore. The other books of mine on my harddrive you’ve not read but that deal with these subjects are areas I needed to explore.

I just handed a book to my beta reader with a scene where a woman who has survived previous intimate partner violence fought back during an attempted date rape. It was difficult and ugly and a scene that would likely trigger people. I had to get drunk to write it. It still makes me queasy. But the story needed it, the character needed it, and I needed it. I needed that moment when she decides not to be frozen, or passive, or “nice” for once in her life; I needed the moment she faces the terror of saying “This is not okay” when it’s been ingrained in her to just lie back and accept; I needed the moment when she fights back; I needed the moment when she realizes that has just as many consequences as not fighting back. And as she says in the current WIP:

“They get away with it. They have everything. And I have to live with it. The times I didn’t fight back and the time I did. Every goddamn day, I live with it.”

My books will (likely) always explore what it means to live with it.

Above entertainment and to make a living, I write to give myself strength. I write to change the things that happen to me and others. I write to explore the people I know I’m not and the people I’m afraid I am. I write to process and to understand; I write for catharsis; I write to express trauma and transmute reality. I write to give the darkness in me a place to go. I write to have and to give hope.  And I write what I write because it’s necessary for me to survive.

I have nothing but respect for those who don’t want to live with it in fiction when they already do in their real lives, and who provide stories without rape. Many readers need that.

But no matter how weary the subject can make me, no matter how tired I am of this reality, I can’t. And it’s okay if my books aren’t for you because of that. I write for those who, for whatever reason, need these stories to be told.

I write stories about terrible things because I need to tell them.

———–

Note: This was a difficult thing for me to post. Behave in the comments.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: exhumed, feminism, life, personal, writers and readers, writing, zara lain

Looking for “Free” Books?

Hey folks hitting the page (yes, I see you), this note Yampellec’s Idol is about you:

Guess what?
THE LIVI TALBOT SERIES HAS BEEN CANCELED.

It’s ending after book seven. The last five books will not be published.

I cannot even predict when I’ll be able to write the seventh. The series is in limbo. Because of you.

You did this.

All your google search terms like “skyla dawn cameron shiva’s bow epub” and “livi talbot torrent” and “yampellec’s idol free download”. All your requests on piracy forums. Your uploads at Z-library and the mirror sites for celz and on VK. I know about these things. I warned, over and over, that this would happen, and I know in your searches you found this page and knew it was coming. I warned in the author’s notes of my books–in fact, it said right on the copyright page “You will be responsible when there are no future books.”

You were warned and you did it anyway. You did this. You killed another series.

Yes, I mean you, Susan Bontly from NMSU (who is a fucking librarian and should be ashamed of herself). Y’all think you’re anonymous? You aren’t.

If you have downloaded, requested, or uploaded any Demons of Oblivion book, know that you are the reason why the series was cancelled after Oblivion.

I know every time one of you does this. I see you hitting this page after searching google. I see you on piracy forums making requests. You are not anonymous.

You are pirating books I am lucky to sell two or three copies of a year. Illegally distributing my work tells me I shouldn’t publish more. 

You are why that series was cancelled.

I see you making requests and googling where to steal the books.

Yes, I mean you. Right now, you reading this. I see you in my site stats. I know what you’re doing.

I literally live in poverty. I am struggling with vet bills. I am sick with autoimmune problems. After feeding my cats (including sick and elderly ones), paying rent and utilities, paying tax and business expenses, I’m left with about $60 every three weeks for groceries and my extra medication costs. I will probably have to stop publishing in a few years because of how sales are dropping.

You’re not “cool”, you’re not “sticking it to the man”, you’re kicking a human being while she’s down.

People who love books support those who create them.

Try using Scribd, which is like Netflix for books (and even has a free trial): each download of my books there nets me FULL royalties while you pay a small monthly fee. Use Kobo Plus! There are inexpensive ways of supporting writers.

*

Coming here looking for illegal downloads of River/Wolfe?

That series was cancelled due to piracy.

Looking for illegal downloads of Bloodlines, Hunter, Lineage, Exhumed, or Oblivion?

I had to take future books off my plate due to low sales and guaranteed I would never return to it due to piracy.

Did you miss Soulless when it was serialized and want a free version of that?

It is a FUNDRAISER book for my vet bills–wtf is wrong with you?

Going after the Livi Talbot series next with Solomon’s Seal, Odin’s Spear, Emperor’s Tomb, Shiva’s Bow, Charon’s Gold, etc? The Patreon serials like Tiger’s Memory?

This was a twelve-book series. It’s now ending at book seven for the public. I have no idea when I’ll be able to afford the time to even finish the series.

Great job–you’ve killed another series.

How about the Elis O’Connor books?

Any sequels, starting with Witch Hunt, will be going on Patreon and then paperback only. Because I cannot afford to continue them.

How about Waverly Jones? The Killing Beach, A Wild Kind of Darkness, etc?

Do you ever want to know who killed is the Crossroads Butcher? Stop stealing books that are barely selling in the double digits.

I am not joking. They have not cracked triple digits.

My horror books, like Dweller on the Threshold? That book brought back my love of writing. I wrote my beloved Psych Kittens into it, to honor Gus. It SICKENS ME that while I have massive vet bills and expenses that you people are stealing something that meant so much to me, that make it harder for me to provide for Shawn.

You’re attempting to steal from someone CHRONICALLY ILL, living below the poverty level, who has had several deaths in the family, whose elderly pets are sick, and who can’t afford to publish books.

Congratulations: you’re a terrible person.

*

Either you’ve stumbled across this page while poking around my site, or–more likely–you have been directed here because you came looking for Skyla Dawn Cameron torrents, “free” downloads or epub mobi pdf or “read online free Skyla Dawn Cameron”, and the like.

On the author’s own website.

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Dude, WHY WOULD I HAVE THAT HERE?

No no, hold on a sec. I’m actually glad you’re here. Stay. Read the message below. Because it involves what series have been cancelled, what series are on the verge of cancellation, and my answers to your explanations of why you have to steal from me.

Here’s the truth: piracy kills series. It does. River Wolfe, those books about the wolf-turned-teen girl y’all keep coming looking for? There were two of them. There was going to be a third. I stopped writing it because of how heavily pirated the first two books were. I will never finish writing it and it will never be published.

Bloodlines? Hunter? Lineage? Exhumed? The whole Demons of Oblivion series?

Bloodlines has already been pirated more than it’s been bought. Read that again. More illegal downloads than legal purchases. For a full-length novel that was priced for years at $2.99.

Do you get that, dear pirates? I am not some big time author.

I lost my full-time job in Sept 2013. I have to choose what I work on right now very, very carefully; anything I write must carry a reasonable expectation of being financially viable. If you continue pirating my books, series will be canceled.

Whatever your excuses are? I’ve heard them. I don’t care.

I can’t afford books!

Really? Because you can afford the iPads and laptops and Kindle Fires you’re visiting my site on while you look for illegal downloads of my books.  Books which are full-length novels for the most part and priced at $3 – $6, which is several dollars cheaper than other books in their genre. I understand poverty. I know poverty. 99% of the people visiting my site for torrents are not the downtrodden.

I want it in a different format!

ALL of my books are available in mobi, epub, and pdf. All of them. DRM free so you can convert them yourself to another format you need. What is this magical format you require?

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It’s not available in my country!

Uh, yeah, it is. All of my books are available at dozens of different retailers with no geographical restrictions.

I don’t have a credit card!

Me either! So here’s what you do: get an iTunes gift card and check out my work in the iBookstore. Or do what I do and get a VISA gift card from the store, which is usable online. Or use PayPal.

My country doesn’t allow PayPal!

Then read one of the literally millions of other books out there that are available to you for free!

Information wants to be free!

I’m not selling non-fiction. I’m not publishing a cure for cancer. The secrets of the universe are not found in a book of mine about vampires. These books are entertainment, which you are not automatically entitled to like air and water.

I don’t want to support big publishers and their gold toilets and yachts!

Dude, my books are put out by me. You are hurting me. And those I am responsible for. Also? I’ve worked in publishing. I don’t know anyone with a yacht. I know a hell of a lot of good editors who were laid off because of low profits. And I know a lot of authors who had to cancel series because sales were so low that publishers didn’t want to buy more of their books.

I already bought an ereader, books should be free.

So…you enjoy screwing over the little guy, then? Give your hard-earned cash to Apple and Microsoft and fuck those content creators who work for 50c an hour writing books? We don’t get a cut of those iPad sales, dumbass. Let’s be honest: it comes down to convenience. It is more convenient for you to steal from me than it is to walk your ass to the store and take a tablet off the shelf.

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It’s not stealing, it’s SHARING!

No, actually, it’s copyright infringement: the illegal copying and distribution of work you do not have the rights to. I and others choose to use the word theft for a very specific reason.

Taking my books to read without paying is theft of my labour. Artist’s rights are worker rights. You are a thief of the very worst kind when you take from workers who have very little (probably less than you).

It’s not like I’m SELLING your books illegally.

Yes, but the people who do sell illegally? Where do you think they get ebooks from? Torrents and download sites like you do. They take those books and make money off of them and they don’t give a dime to the authors. I know because I’ve had to send takedown notices to ebay and the like when users sold my book and others without permission and without giving me a cut. Putting ebooks up for illegal distribution means you don’t control how they’re then used. They’re put on CDs or online stores and sold for money; they’re converted to RTFs and have the names changed and then sold as original content.

Guess what! That “archive” site that scrapes all the other sites? They sell our books to companies as LLM training data. LLM = Large Language Model. Aka generative AI. Aka the thing destroying the climate and putting people out of work. Don’t believe me? Check the “LLM Data” link at the bottom of their site. Because of your actions, your support of illegal distribution of my work, my books are now being sold to these garbage companies.

If I like it, I’ll buy it later.

Do you think that’ll work at the grocery store? I can take home a bag of chips, eat them, and come back and pay for them if I DO like them? Really? I mean, should I try? Maybe you can go first and let me know how it works out for you?

I’m going to pirate your stuff anyway because you bitched about it.

You know why you react that way? With that defiant little “I’ll show you!” sneer? Because you know I’m right. So VERY mature–you sure showed that writer standing up for her rights! Your mother must be so proud of you.

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Didn’t you know [insert famous author here] says piracy helps them?

Good for that author. Go and take their work. I would rather take my chance with obscurity than have you take that choice from me. You dig that?

*mumble mumble* Libraries!

Libraries are great. Hey, did you know that in Canada, we have something called Public Lending Rights, which means the government gives us some pennies depending on how many of our books are in libraries? So if you walk your ass down to the library and request a book, they’ll get in copies–then YOU get to read free and *I* not only make a bit of money on the initial sale but, in Canada, make a little extra.

I’m just one person, it doesn’t make a difference if pirate.

Yes it does. You choose to buy, you teach your kids to do things legally, you encourage your friends to do their part, and it all trickles down until we have a culture that supports creators rather than punishes them. You absolutely can make the difference. And literally every sale counts with me. That is how few books I sell.

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Every time you visit one of those piracy forums? See the ads there? How about when you click a link to Rapidgator or DepositFiles or Zippyshare or FileFactory? See those ads that pop up? Your clicks, your pageviews, put money in the pocket of thieves. They make money from your illegal activities. Do you think they give a cut of that to the writer? No.

No book is “free”, even if you didn’t take money out of your wallet to pay for it.

I make money as a writer on a per-purchase basis. No patron or magical rent fairy coming by to hand a cheque to my landlord. Every sale counts.

Piracy has an actual place in the world: in countries under brutal regimes, like North Korea, where everything is so tightly controlled, the only way to change the tide is smuggling illegal content over the border. I’m cool with that. But y’all visiting my site, pirating my books? You’re not from North Korea. You’re primarily from the US, Canada, a few from the UK, Australia, and the odd one from India (oh and Brazil–I haven’t forgotten about you, Andrea, pretending you had no idea where you could get my book legally). All countries where my books can EASILY be legally obtained.

Your inconvenience is not oppression.

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Let me speak very plainly here for a moment: illegally copying and distributing my work violates me.

Psychologically, it makes it more difficult to work; it’s hard enough spending hundreds and hundreds of hours on a manuscript knowing you’ll never make minimum wage on it, but it’s even more difficult when you’re aware of how many motherfuckers are going to hit your website looking for illegal copies the day of release. Financially, it means the books you enjoy reading will be fewer and far between or will disappear all together because most writers already work multiple jobs to pay the bills and they will not continue a series that costs them more to produce than they’ll make on it.  In terms of quality, it means writers will try churning out crap so they can live on quantity rather than quality work, and it means there are fewer editors around to work on the books because of lay-offs. 

Exhumed meant a hell of a lot to me emotionally, and if it ends up pirated, Zara and Nate are DONE. <– I wrote this BEFORE that book was pirated. I’ve left the note intact because I did cancel the series.

I do not need to spend my time writing more Zara books. Nope, I have ideas here lined up around the block and then some–I have TONS of stuff I can work on. Books that might reach a wider audience to make up for the piracy. Or ideas I want to write, just for me, and never publish for my readers. You are hurting yourself by pirating.

If you love books, like you claim to–if you love reading, if you love devouring a new series–you will not leech from the people producing them. Because readers and writers have a symbiotic relationship, and writers cannot do their part if you do not do yours.

Still here? Think I’m alone in my feelings on the subject? Why don’t you read what Patricia Briggs, Dina James, Shiloh Walker, Jeaniene Frost, and Lilith Saintcrow have to say on the subject.

In Memory of Gus

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MEET SKYLA DAWN

Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
Fifth-generation crazy cat lady. Bitchy feminist.
So tired all the goddamn time.

My characters kill people so I don’t have to.

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What I’m Working On:

Writing Elis 5. Also kind of sort of writing Waverly 8.

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.