soundtrack sunday

Feb 27 2022

Soundtrack Sunday – “Masterpiece”

It seemed like time to get a little normalcy back to the blog and I haven’t done one of these since October.

I’ve two weeks left on one of these meds (the other is for life), though last week got me down to a low enough dose that I can function better now and I haven’t needed benzos to compensate. No panic attacks and tachycardia for a couple of weeks, and no longer lying in bed crying and praying it’ll end soon.

Am I in remission? Who knows! I just want to get some projects finished so I can afford groceries again.

We’re getting close to Dweller on the Threshold‘s release, but I’ll wait and do that soundtrack later in March (also head over to Patreon on March 1 if you want to get an eight-chapter preview!). The last couple of weeks I haven’t been able to write anything new, but I pulled out the Waverly Jones books I finished last year to get them into a more reasonable shape.

I’m very much in love with them.

I can’t believe after struggling all those years with the first book that I not only have two done but they hold up and I’m so excited to write more (I wish, in fact, I had a half a dozen done that I could read back to back right now).

As you can see on the series page as well as with the jacket copy for The Killing Beach, when she was seventeen, Waverly’s sister was the last known victim of a serial killer who went dormant, though her body’s never been found. The Crossroads Butcher killed in groups of three before moving onto a new location, so prior to her sister, there were two other victims, and the high-profile case brought visiting officers–including the brilliant and compassionate Detective Sebastian Kyle, who Waverly fell in love with despite discouragement on his side of things (her therapists would call it “infatuation”–and that’s why she won’t talk to them anymore).

If teen-girl-inserts-herself-in-a-serial-killer-investigation-and-falls-in-love-with-a-detective-who-vanishes-mysteriously sounds familiar, well…

Similarities end there, however–Waverly is a very, very different person. But plenty of songs on Waverly’s soundtrack came from watching Audrey/Cooper vids on YouTube.

Such as this one–“Masterpiece” by Madonna.

From the moment I first saw you
All the darkness turned to light

This is all in the past, of course–Sebastian Kyle has been missing for over a decade, no leads on his whereabouts and his body hasn’t been found (yet), but being drawn back to her hometown amidst a major case, a lot of memories come back.

Like being in love with a masterpiece.

It seems to me is what you are
A rare and priceless work of art
Stay behind your velvet rope
But I will not renounce all hope

I could write entire essays about how I will never ever forgive anyone for how Audrey was treated in The Return, but I think a big part is that as a young girl (seven when it aired), I really admired her. Here was a smart, curious young woman like so many of the heroines in books I read (eg Nancy Drew) trying to investigate a murder, and though gently, respectfully rebuffed by the older man running the case (because she was eighteen!), she still tried to help. Repeatedly. After the premature end of the show, with all this potential the character had…we find out in the intervening years she was raped by an evil doppelganger, had the evil child, did absolutely nothing with her life, went crazy and ended up in a mental institution.

That was not my Audrey.

That was not the capable, resilient person I’d admired since I was seven. That was not the young woman who vowed one day she’d be grown-up and on her own and Cooper had better watch out.

Or, y’know, who went undercover and threatened a dude in an effort to find out who killed Laura Palmer.

Yeah, I’ll die mad about it.

But at least I’ve got Waverly.

She’s an adult now, she’s a private investigator…and she doesn’t like people. She’s got anxiety. She’s obsessive. Super manipulative. She talks to the hallucination of her dead sister. Sebastian Kyle was very much her polar opposite even back then and definitely now, and maybe that’s partly why she clings to the memory of him still.

Along with wondering what happened to him.

And I’m right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of the masterpiece
And I can’t tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece

You don’t get to meet Waverly until next year (May 30 2023) but I am SO excited to share this book with y’all.

Oct 31 2021

Soundtrack Sunday – “Hunter”

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these!

To celebrate Charon’s Gold being up for preorder, today we’ll look at one of the main song’s from its playlist: the RIAYA feat. John Mark McMillan cover of Bjork’s “Hunter” (which you may recognize from the Terminator: Dark Fate trailer).

Given the end of Yampellec’s Idol, Charon’s Gold probably seems like it’s a very dark book. And it absolutely is, but at its core I think it’s also a book about hope. That said, yes, Livi is in a very different place than she has been previously–she’s not doing the work because she’s been hired to.

She is driven by her own mission now.

If travel is searching
And home has been found
I’m not stopping

There’s one particular scene I wrote directly to this song–Livi accepting the sacrifices made for her mission, running through the night (it’s in slow-mo in my head), intent on her destination, trusting coverfire to keep her safe while enemies surround her, diving into the unknown.

I’m going hunting
I’m the Hunter
Bring back the good

But in addition to that, it’s very much the overall book’s theme song (the same way “In the End” was for YI). Even while it may not line up with Bjork’s original meaning (lol), this dark epic cover version speaks to obsession and drive and trying to restore something thought lost–the solitary and lonely, single-minded, move-heaven-and-earth-for-family journey Livi is capable of.

Charon’s Gold is now up for preorder.

Jun 06 2021

Soundtrack Sunday – YAMPELLEC’S IDOL

It’s here! The latest Livi novel came out this week, so here we have the full playlist.

2WEI – “In the End” (cover)
I talked about this one in more detail here–it’s the epic trailer theme song for the book.

Jonatha Brooke – “Inconsolable“
Livi POV

Orelia Has Orchestra – “Suggestions“
Livi POV
It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down//Oh I’m sure in the distance you can hear that awful sound//Oh I plead for an answer, plead for an answer from you//But if you give me an answer, that just makes no sense then what’s the use//And just like that my life is broken//I can barely breathe

A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera – “Say Something“
I talked about this one in more detail last week; it’s the first big confrontation scene song.

Christina Perri – “Jar of Hearts“
Post-confrontation as Livi spirals.

Katelyn Tarver – “You Don’t Know What It’s Like“
Livi…has a lot going on and mostly wants to be left alone. So this whole song.
So let me just give up//So let me just let go//If this isn’t good for me//Well, I don’t wanna know//Let me just stop trying//Let me just stop fighting//I don’t want your good advice or reasons why I’m alright//You don’t know what it’s like

Corey Taylor – “Wicked Game” (cover)
It’s not quite how I hear Iluka’s voice–his is a little huskier–but it’s close, and it’s an Iluka POV song.

Brian D’Oliveira – “Overture“

Correatown – “Believe” (cover)
The chapter titled “Life After Love”, the quiet moment after sliding down the muddy hill.

Imagine Dragons – “Believer” (both original and acoustic)
Wrote some kissing to this one–it may not seem like a kissing song, but welcome to my brain!

Hozier – “Movement“
More kissing/”boundaries” discussion.

Brian D’Oliveira – “One with the Jungle“
SO glad Tomb Raider came out with a game set in Peru while I was writing my Peru book; I used a few songs from the soundtrack on it.

Brian D’Oliveira – “Baptism of Fire“
Doppelganger theme.

Sierra Eagleson – “In the Air Tonight” (cover)

Audra Mae – “Little Sparrow” (cover)
Dolly’s original too. Marta’s song, I talked about here.

Shawn James – “I Try” (cover)
At the airport, Iluka POV.
I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you//I’ll keep my cool, but I’m fiendin’//I try to say goodbye and I choke//I try to walk away and I stumble//Though I try to hide it, it’s clear//My world crumbles when you are not near

Lisa Loeb – “How“
Second big confrontation scene with the truth.

Chase Eagleson – “The Scientist” (cover)
Other song during the second big confrontation scene with the truth.

Ducci – “Something I Need” (piano cover)
I can’t have a soundtrack in the series without some cover of the main Livi and West theme. I wish this was more somber to be more bittersweet but it worked for me.

NEONI – “Apologize” (cover)
Livi sits by herself in the park and processes what she’s learned.
I loved you with a fire red and I was turnin’ blue//And to say//Sorry like the angel//Heaven let me think was you//But I’m afraid//It’s too late to apologize

Brian D’Oliveira – “Innocent Death“

Alessia Cara – “River of Tears“
I thought that you would be the hero//Come and save the day//But you’re a villain//Your sins unforgiven and Cry me a river, build myself a bridge//I’m over this//Can’t let memories become the death of me//I’m glad to see everything that you are//And I believe that you are everything I needed//But I don’t need no more//I’m going down, and you have watched me drown//In a river of tears, lost beneath the stream//Under the waves, I’ve found the strength to say//The river of tears has washed me clean

TRILLS – “Speak Loud“
Livi snaps as she approaches the private plane.

Sophie Zelmani – “I’ll Remember You“
Last chapter before the epilogue, conversation in the SUV and final goodbye. Livi POV

Daniel Ahearn – “I Will Let You Go“
Same scene, West POV.
No more paving the present with pain from my past//And I will let you go

Eva Cassidy – “Fields of Gold“
Epilogue song.

Aron Wright – “In the Sun” (cover)
Other epilogue song.
I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong

Imagine Dragons – “Next to Me“
Iluka shows up unexpectedly (this one’ll probably appear quite a bit in the next playlist too). Livi POV.
Something about the way that you walked into my living room//Casually and confident lookin’ at the mess I am//But still you, still you want me and Oh, I always let you down//You’re shattered on the ground//Still, I find you there//Next to me//And oh, stupid things I do//I’m far from good, it’s true//But still, I find you//Next to me

May 30 2021

Soundtrack Sunday – “Say Something”

Usually I do a book’s full soundtrack the Sunday before release, but this time I’ll wait for the week after–just to avoid spoilers. But to celebrate Tuesday’s release, I thought I’d talk about the very first song on the playlist, from years before I even started writing it.

A lot of threads in all the books in the series so far have been leading up to the first big confrontation scene (which I’m sure everyone knew was coming by the time you read the end of Shiva’s Bow).

There was only one song for that scene.

Say something, I’m giving up on you

It’s that rare song that weaves through both POVs in a scene, this time Livi and West.

I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you

I had it on repeat when walking at night for years, rolling that scene around and around in my head. I had it on repeat when I finally got to write it years later. And I still popped it on every time I reread/revised the scene the past year.

You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

The somber quietness, the simplicity, the palpable pain–it’s a good contrast to all the screaming and shooting.

Say something, I’m giving up on you

(Look, I like my angst, okay?)

The full soundtrack will post next Sunday. Previous song features from this book included “In the End” and “Little Sparrow“.

Dec 06 2020

Soundtrack Sunday – THE SILENT PLACES

The new book is nearly here!

The soundtrack is a strange one because while my playlists normally run heavily in favour of songs with lyrics, this one didn’t. If it was a movie, there would be a lot of long slow pans of isolated snowy landscapes and forests, and the music followed a similar pattern for me. That said, there are still a few with lyrics; the non-vocal ones, know that they were just on repeat most of the time.

SJ Tucker – “Girl Into Devil“
Talked about this one a lot here.
“Shouldering a rifle, more to prove with every breath,//stolen fairytale girls make the difference between life and death.//It all comes down to choices, but you’ve only the hard ones left,//and so, all you can say is//’I belong to me. Even now, even here.'”

Sarah McLachlan – “Answer“
Although her husband Nick has been missing and doesn’t appear on page, this was their song.
“I will be the answer at the end of the line//I will be there for you while you take the time//In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground//I will hold the balance if you can’t look down”

Gregory Alan Isakov – “If I Go, I’m Goin’“
Likely due in part to it being used at the end of The Haunting of Hill House, but it reminds me of being haunted at home; TSP isn’t paranormal, but there’s a weight to Nick’s disappearance and a sense of his presence in his absence that is like a haunting.

Lotte Kestner – “True Faith” (cover)
I had this one on repeat a lot while writing.
“I used to think that the day would never come//That my life would depend on the morning sun//That the day would never come”

Sarah McLachlan – “Dirty Little Secret“
“But nothing seems to help me since you went away//I’m so tired of this town”

Callum McGraw – “Wayfaring Stranger” (cover)

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – “Wind River“
So my primary music for the book was the Wind River soundtrack. I’ll link here on Spotify but share the tracks I listened to the most. Particularly during the final chapters surrounding the storm, but overall these were my “isolated cold Yukon music” tracks.

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – “Three Seasons in Wyomin g“

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – “Second Body“

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – “Bad News“

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – “Breakdown“

The Silent Places releases on Tuesday! Preorder now or patrons can download a four-chapter sample at Patreon.