An Update

So it looks like Sophie has Cushing’s (hyperadrenocorticism). Which is what we suspected two years ago, but tests are expensive and her health improved so we didn’t go looking.

Thankfully, it took only some brief refreshing before I once again became a walking encyclopedia on the topic.

All things considered, it’s not as bad as it could be, and she’s showing very few clinical signs so her quality of life isn’t being impacted at this point; we’re not jumping in to treatment, at least not for a few months. One of the benefits of the disease is that allergy symptoms lessen or are non-existent, so we’ll get through her current allergy season without her scratching herself raw before we look at dealing with it.

I am really appreciative of the people who have expressed concern for Sophie and pledged their support–that has meant the world to me. For the next little while, things are okay. She’s well enough to remain in the therapy dog program, and she goes for her first visit at the hospital Monday night. I’ll hopefully find a bit of time next week to blog about it, as I think it’s a wonderful program and I encourage people with dogs to contact their local St. John’s Ambulance group about it to see if they’re eligible.

The past three weeks have also been near-unbearable for me, and my sincerest thanks to everyone who sent condolences and checked in with me. I still miss Jilly-bean constantly and grief is suffocating at times but I’m trying hard to get back into social interaction and work (which I am catching up with as quickly as I can). I still can’t eat much, I don’t sleep more than a couple of hours once in a while, so my ability to brain has been severely impaired. As long as I don’t have to remember stuff like words or anything with great frequency, I can putter along.

Finally, the last blog post served its purpose, more or less, and I’ve decided to password protect it for the sake of those involved. The password will be my father’s last name, all lowercase; if you don’t know what that is, you don’t need to read it. 😉

It might’ve seemed an odd thing to post publicly, but then I talk about a whole lot publicly, don’t I? Here’s the thing: when you are raised to see your entire existence as some shameful secret, taught not to talk about things, to be silent, to anticipate rejection and resentment for things out of your control, you can go one of two ways: you can perpetuate the cycle of secrets and silence, or you can push back against it.

I’ve chosen the latter.

It never stops being terrifying, but I can’t seem to stop myself from chasing down the demons and things I’m afraid of. I suppose there are worse compulsions to have.

Huge thanks specifically to Danni for rocking the support as usual, and Lili and Shai for being quick to send their hugs. Y’all make me feel like the Tara behind the Slayer and pals.

(I mean, the less-hot, non-lesbian version of Tara.)

ETA: I”ve been informed I’m not less-hot than Tara. Okay, LESS-NICE. Because, let’s face it: I’m the Anya.