Although this is a chapter I have a lot of problems with, I don't dislike it as I did the other one that bugged me. I just have NOT been in the mood to write fight scenes/action sequences. It was physically painful to do, but if it comes across as kind of jumpy or confusing, I'll just say that it was all intentional because it was written from Gen's POV and she's busy trying to read at the same time. Yep. That's definitely it. I think my other problem is that I write fight scenes quite well from first person POV, when the narrator is the one fighting, but third person observer? Yeah guys, there's the evidence that I'm a talentless hack!
Anyway, back to relevant stuff...one thing that bugs me is how underused Sage is in the final bits. With the focus on Gen, I couldn't really change that, and I feel bad for it... I did want to have in there a scene where she has the opportunity to kill one of the men, and yet she hesitates still, because despite it all, she's still not a killer. Everything just got too busy, and I didn't know where to put it, unfortunately.
Finally, this chapter has my favourite scene so far—like favourite in all of Part One. But it didn't turn out as well as I saw it in my head (I so am in the wrong career—I see things movie-like and I should probably have gone to film school instead of trying to write novels). Genevieve is about to die, and despite Michael saying he'd cover her, he almost lets it happen. Love it. Love the implications of it, love the idea of it. Everything just seems to pause for a moment, and she sees him there, staring in her eyes, not moving to help her. Believe me, it's one of those things that'll be haunting her for some time...
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"She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican serape."
Author Commentary
Although this is a chapter I have a lot of problems with, I don't dislike it as I did the other one that bugged me. I just have NOT been in the mood to write fight scenes/action sequences. It was physically painful to do, but if it comes across as kind of jumpy or confusing, I'll just say that it was all intentional because it was written from Gen's POV and she's busy trying to read at the same time. Yep. That's definitely it.
I think my other problem is that I write fight scenes quite well from first person POV, when the narrator is the one fighting, but third person observer? Yeah guys, there's the evidence that I'm a talentless hack!
Anyway, back to relevant stuff...one thing that bugs me is how underused Sage is in the final bits. With the focus on Gen, I couldn't really change that, and I feel bad for it... I did want to have in there a scene where she has the opportunity to kill one of the men, and yet she hesitates still, because despite it all, she's still not a killer. Everything just got too busy, and I didn't know where to put it, unfortunately.
Finally, this chapter has my favourite scene so far—like favourite in all of Part One. But it didn't turn out as well as I saw it in my head (I so am in the wrong career—I see things movie-like and I should probably have gone to film school instead of trying to write novels). Genevieve is about to die, and despite Michael saying he'd cover her, he almost lets it happen. Love it. Love the implications of it, love the idea of it. Everything just seems to pause for a moment, and she sees him there, staring in her eyes, not moving to help her. Believe me, it's one of those things that'll be haunting her for some time...
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"She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican serape."