I thought the blog could use some levity after my de facto eulogy (thank you, again, to all of you who offered condolences), but I’m up to here *points to eyeballs* in work and playing catch-up, plus a new round of tests and appointments with a new doctor (WHEE, ANOTHER ONE), and I haven’t really got anything clever to say.
So anyway, as you may or may not be aware, I have always wanted to be a princess.
Correction: I always pretty much THOUGHT I was a princess. I assumed my mother was an evil witch (hi, Mom!) who locked me in a tower and was very cruel whenever she made me help with housework.
Basically, I was relatively certain this was my life, as I’m sure most children are:
It was a hard knock life, clearly.
And I assumed one day my real, extremely wealthy, probably royal family would come along and buy me things and never make me clean my room, maaaaayyyybeeeee.
Anyway, I’m thirty-two and not yet a princess, and this is probably my greatest disappointment in life (next to the fact that I don’t have any flying monkeys, as eventually I realized I am more likely to be a wicked witch anyway and, goddamn it, I WAS PROMISED FLYING MONKEYS).
A couple of years ago, I ran into a My Little Pony, however, named PRINCESS SKYLA. (I discovered this as people were hitting my site googling “princess skyla” and for a while I was excited as I thought they knew something about me that I didn’t.) Never, in my whole life, have I ever found things with my name. Mostly this is good as I like having a unique name, but you know when you go into gift shops and they have magnets and necklaces and things with your name? That never happens to me, and there has NEVER been a fictional character or toy with my name, LET ALONE A PRINCESS. I had trouble finding a MLP Princess Skyla currently available for sale, however, and never got one.
As my belated Christmas gift this year, however, Aunt Judy got me…
Princess Skyla.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.
No, Aunt Judy ALSO got me…my very own tiara. Which I promptly put on.
And did not take off again.
So @bbwriter got me a tiara and I wore it the entire way home to embarrass my mother and it was pretty much the best thing ever.
— Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
HER LADYSHIP. pic.twitter.com/Tm2zkizeQc — Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
(It’s black and white because I AM A CLASSY PRINCESS.)
Seriously, we stopped into Mary Browns to take home dinner and I happily strolled in and Mum was facepalming.
— Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
They put our order under “Princess Skyla”. — Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
This is the thing about having a chronic illness that will never go away: NO FUCKS TO GIVE ABOUT ANYTHING. Plus no dignity left.
— Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
I finally said, look, they took fifteen (!) vials of blood today and my father just died and I WILL WEAR A TIARA ALL DAY IF I WANT TO. — Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
— Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
Mum questioned why I wasn’t waving while we were driving. Because acknowledging the peasants makes them all uppity. DUH. — Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) April 16, 2015
Mum continues to be horribly embarrassed, probably because she knows I’m planning to wear it the next time I buy groceries when she’s working.
I see no reason to be embarrassed; I am willing to bet everyone’s just jealous. Because I am a princess.
Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
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