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Skyla Dawn Cameron

My characters kill people so I don't have to.

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May 8, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron

Resurrecting River Wolfe

Well, I’ve gone and done it, hitting the “go live” button on the crowdfunding campaign to re-release River.

 

Shawn and Gus dance, Psych

Fat Amy - No Backup Dancers?

Everything you could possibly want to know, about perks and donation levels and stretch goals is on the site. The campaign runs until Friday, June 13th, because I have a terrible sense of humor. I won’t be going overboard advertising this, so if y’all could spread the word, I’d greatly appreciate it.

As a friend pointed out, there is nothing really to worry about here despite my darkly spiraling thoughts. If the campaign is funded, the book comes out. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, and it’s only cost me the time I’ve already spent on rewrites. (edited to clarify: it’s fixed funding rather than flexible because if it doesn’t fully fund, the cost of rewards and shipping will literally put me in the hole. So it had to be all or nothing.) The ball is officially out of my court and I can’t worry.

Still, if you’ll excuse me…

JohnnyDeppSadEating

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Books, news, river

May 1, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

On Diversity and Identification

There’s a hashtag worth checking out on Twitter and the ensuing conversation today: #WeNeedDiverseBooks

I used to teach workshops and courses for young writers (sometimes teens, sometimes even younger). There was a common pattern I noticed: kids, particularly very young ones, tended to write stories about protagonists who looked like them. I remember one girl who wrote about a worm, sometimes someone might write about a puppy, but if there was a human protagonist–even in a fantasy setting–the writer’s “default” character resembled them in gender, ethnicity, usually hair and eye colour, and often his or her home life.

One year, in one of my classes, there was a pair of second generation Chinese immigrant brothers. They’d been born and raised in Canada, and the younger of the two was about seven or so (IIRC). He wrote and illustrated a story about a boy who had an older brother (the other elements I don’t recall, but it sounded very similar to a story about him). And the protagonist in his story was a Caucasian, blue-eyed boy.

That was his default. All the stories he wrote, stories with protagonists who had details similar to his own life, were about white dudes.

And that made me think very hard about what stories, regardless of medium, all these kids were being exposed to. Books about white boys. TV shows about white boys. Movies about white boys. Even most toys tended to center around white boys (if human elements were involved).

This was a small child already growing up to see white as default. There is nothing wrong with a non-white child deciding to write about a white protagonist, but this calls for a long hard look at why writing about a Chinese boy never occurred to him. Why he never saw himself reflected in the media he consumed. And this isn’t new; talk to any teacher and they will tell you similar stories (eg. black girls who internalize that beauty is white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair in all of their drawings and stories).  It left me questioning…what do I write? What do I read? What am *I* putting out in the world that contributes to this?

A friend of mine has run into a frustrating lack of children’s books where the kids have gay parents. Not where it’s an “issue”–“Hey, Susie has two moms, and that’s a big deal, but it’s okay!”–but just normal kids having normal adventures whose parents happen to be gay. She wants her daughter to feel normal. And I don’t doubt she wants her daughter’s peers to see their family as normal as well.

And fiction is so, so powerful. It provides validation, catharsis. It encourages the development of empathy. Kids deserve to see themselves reflected in fiction. Their skin, their hair, their eyes. Their parents. Their disorders. Their physical abilities. Their beliefs. Their size. Their family’s income level.

I was born in the early eighties. I had sassy (white) female characters in books and badass (white) heroines in film, but the one area I found it sorely lacking was video games. I bemoaned the fact I always had to play as a boy saving a girl. Even at eight, nine years old, I knew that something was wrong here. It wasn’t that I couldn’t play as/identify with a male character; I just didn’t want it forced on me. And I wanted more than a token girl, the Smurfette trope.

I held onto this growing resentment for years and it’s still a factor today when gaming. I tend to part with my cash for female-led games or ones where character gender preference is an option. I still play the female character whenever possible. And, generally speaking, I no longer feel forced to identify with a boy, therefore I am more likely to play male-led games than I ever was before.

But I was lucky in that I realized pretty quickly something was wrong with the lack of gender diversity. It was something I pushed back against early on. That is not so for a lot of kids who grow up internalizing that white hetero cis dudes are default and everything else is “different” and “other.”

What drove this home for me more recently–this need to see yourself represented (because, let’s face it, I’m a white, hetero, cis chick–there are lots of me all over the place, and I am quite privileged in many ways)–was TV. Yes, I live under a rock, and haven’t had cable in about seven years. But now I have Netflix and knitting while catching up on stuff I’ve missed the past few years has been great. And being that I lived under a rock, I had no idea that the lead character in Homeland has bipolar disorder.

See, I get it. I get what’s it’s like to have every depiction of someone like you be shown as a killer. Or as a joke. That is how mental illness is treated by most writers, regardless of medium. Need a reason why someone on Criminal Minds killed a bunch of people, so the protags have a villain to hunt? MAKE THE CHICK MENTALLY ILL! Need some cheap laughs? MAKE A SIDE CHARACTER MENTALLY ILL! And obviously it is also how a whole bunch of non-white ethnicities, non-Christian faiths, and non-cis characters are portrayed. (And yes, I am cognizant of the criticisms of some of that on Homeland; I just would like to separate, for a moment, other potentially problematic elements from why this show has value to me.)

As I watched Homeland‘s protagonist’s manic meltdown and subsequent crash into depression toward the end of the first season, it struck me how grateful I was to see someone “like me” on TV, as a main character. Not the perp-of-the-week on some crime drama or the wacky neighbour, not a joke, but someone living with–and often succumbing to–that particular illness. My god, to just see someone have a depressive episode and not have it immediately result in suicide (because ALL depressed people are automatically suicidal, dontcha know) was subversive and a revelation.

It doesn’t matter that Carrie Mathison’s bipolar disorder isn’t exactly like mine; what matters is there’s something very validating and cathartic about seeing a fictional character go through those struggles. How much more susceptible you are to gaslighting when you’re already “crazy”; how difficult it is to trust yourself when you know something’s “wrong” with you; trying to maintain yourself through extreme ups and downs, because the world’s not going to stop and let you off the ride just because your brain is fucked up. How the illness can be a liability but your unique perspective also has value. The struggle with questions of treatment.

And I’m left to wonder, if more stories like that are out there, depicting people like me not as a bad guy or as a joke, but as a real, functioning person who is more than her illness, will that not remove some of the stigma overall? Will that not breed compassion and open more conversations? Ultimately, will that not save the lives of people with a disorder that has an 85% survival rate, if they can feel more “normal” and safe enough to seek help?

I want that for everyone.  And I want it to start with kids.

A lot of the time, when people–writers, editors, readers–talk about a desire for diversity in fiction, it gets thrown in the category of “PC”.  That it’s just ticking off a list for the sake of political correctness and that is a bad thing. Because we’re so used to the narrative of white, hetero, cis, able men as default. But there is so much power in fiction–it allows people to open up and identify with the experience of others in a way few other things can, and understanding a wide variety of experiences makes us better people. It can save lives. Diversity matters.

Kids need diverse books. Adults need diverse books. Everyone deserves to see themselves reflected in fiction.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Books, diversity, life

April 21, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron

“When’s That Book Coming?” Spring 2014 Update

I don’t want to alarm anyone but there is, in fact, actual news-ish stuff to report. Not firm dates yet, however, there is forward momentum in something.

First, did I write anything this past quarter?

Yes. Yes I did.

 

What I Wrote

I’d had a very, very rough draft of a book sitting here for a few months, and I finally went in and wrote the last 23K, bumping Frankenovel to 96K words. It’s been to the Beta of Awesome and I’m working on a coherent second draft now that hopefully disguises the fact that I am incompetent and terrible.

Angel Embarrassing Dance
I’m still not in THAT good of a mood, but if I was, I’d be doing this dance.

I dove, then, into the third book in that series, and that zero draft came in at 97K. Toward the end I realized I was actually going to need a book in between #2 and #3, so perhaps it’s more fair to say I finished the fourth in the series and still have to write the third. (I know, I know, my head hurts too.)

Of course, that concerns no one but me and my betas, as y’all aren’t familiar with those books. Overall, though, this progress is an excellent thing. I’m writing, I’m happy, and after getting roughly 150K on three projects so far this year, I am finally getting back in the game and this bodes well for the other irons I have in the fire (including, eventually, Oblivion).

 

What I’m Working On

Forward momentum has come, however, with my first published book River, which I am in the process of revising at last.

Snow White Flee
This is exactly how it feels rereading old work.

It was first written in 2003 and released in 2006. For those playing along at home, yes, I was barely twenty-one when I first wrote it. And this is why (in part) I asked for the contract to be terminated last year, I just was not comfortable with book out as-is.

There is something particularly horrific about rereading such an old work. Like I want to print it out and stab it repeatedly and then burn it and pretend it never existed. It’s much different from most of my work now–one hundred percent character driven (I mean, literally, there is no plot) and no explosions–but it does have voice, and the heroine’s utter hatred and contempt of humanity, yes, that is all me.

I’ve been through the first two chapters, and I struggle to balance the core of what the book used to be with something a little more updated. There are times, too, when I rewrite a few paragraphs, and then have to simplify the writing some to remain true to River’s abrupt, uncomplicated voice.

It’s a huge, huge undertaking. But the book still has its fans, so that is why I’ve committed to putting it out there again.

 

What To Expect

I am looking at re-releasing River in the summer. I won’t be able to do this on my own, not if I want a quality cover (I design them myself but stock isn’t cheap), a thorough copyedit by someone who isn’t the boss’s daughter, and a print edition through LSI (which has set-up fees but would guarantee better distribution), therefore I’ll be setting up an Indiegogo campaign to raise the extra funds to help get it released. I want to have the actual rewrite close to done before I launch it so, if the funding comes, I actually *can* release it in a timely manner, but look for details about that in another month or two.

covercomingsoonThe cost will be broken up into editing/proofing fees, stock costs, printer fees, campaign/PayPal fees, and the cost of rewards (advanced print copies for example), with stretch goals–one will cover the cost of an online book tour to promote it, and I’m toying with others (like a collector hardcover edition?).

The question for anyone who was a fan of the book is likely going to be, What about the sequel, Wolfe?

At this time, I’m not sure. *snips out whining about not liking the book* If River sells well and can justify the time spent on Wolfe, I will give rehauling the whole thing a shot next year. In the EXTREMELY unlikely chance that the Indiegogo campaign not only reaches the stretch goals but doubles, yes, I will absolutely commit to rewriting and re-releasing Wolfe.

It is also a bit of a test–if the campaign goes okay, I’ll feel a bit more secure about trying something similar for Oblivion.

If it doesn’t–and I am not sure I have a wide enough fanbase for it–it will definitely change how likely I am to release books myself in the future and delay some projects. I refuse to put out a subpar product and then charge money for it, but I absolutely cannot afford to self-publish regularly myself. Of course, I also strongly dislike the current trend of expecting readers to fund book production up front (and don’t get me started on promotion), but it’s this or nothing right now.

Yay, experiments!

 

Also On My Plate

I really, really have to focus on some for-pay writing projects right now because my god is my bank account hurting, but peripherally ahead of me is both Oblivion and Nairobi Spy Book (not the real title) after I’ve rewritten River.  Hopefully there’ll be news about other projects next update in July.

 

Other Stuff

Soulless should conclude around the end of May. I’ll leave it up as-is for a couple of weeks, and then it’ll come down and be a pet-donation-exclusive book again for the foreseeable future.  If you’ve read and enjoyed, and haven’t previously tossed pennies in the jar or purchased my other work, please consider doing so.

I am tossing around maybe serializing something in the summer–I still have Zara’s serial to finish, though if that’s not done, I have something else here I’m toying with–but there are a few factors behind the decision, and they all boil down to whether I think it’ll cost more time/money than will be worth it. I’ve always liked doing serials but even a completely finished story requires a lot of work to proof and post, along with added stress.

And I am not the least bit ashamed of my decisions being mercenary-based these days–a bitch has got to get paid.

shakespeare-got-to-get-paid

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: Books, livi talbot, news, river, state of the union

April 15, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron

Still Flying

So, as to not sound like I’m having some kind of stress breakdown like the past few weeks’ posts might’ve implied: I’m fine. Exhausted and overwhelmed and (to mix my metaphors in  a moment) feeling like I’m sinking in deep water, but still going.  My pets are fine (aside from having a seizure, Blind Cat is apparently the most healthy seventeen-year-old cat ever). And I pick my ass up and keep going because what the fuck ever–shit keeps piling up and stuff breaks, and it’s all expensive, but it is much preferable to keep flying and do your best than feel bad about it.

Firefly - "We're still flying." Firefly - "That's not much." Firefly - "It's enough."

Fridays are internet-free days for me. About a month ago, my internet was down for an entire Friday and I was so productive. No email interruptions, no distractions. Sure, I couldn’t look things up, but I just made a note to look later. So that’s what I do now: Friday rolls around, I check in to ensure no one I know is on fire or anything, then turn the WiFi off my laptop for several hours. I clean, I work, I write, all uninterrupted. It’s helped me keep on top of housework  and my word count during busy work weeks.

And this is why, I can officially say, I am done the zero draft of Shiva’s Bow.

This is the first big project I have started AND finished since burnout last year, and probably the first novel I have written and finished quickly in a short time period since Exhumed in late 2011.  (Solomon’s Seal—Livi #1–took about six or seven months for the zero draft; Odin’s Spear–Livi #2–took ten or eleven; by contrast, Shiva’s Bow has taken about nine weeks.)

The zero draft has clocked in at 97 405 words.

8000 of those were written Friday. It took a hell of a lot to get in the final several thousand–I managed about 3-4K a day (always at night) from Saturday through Monday, because it was the only thing standing between me and being alone with my thoughts, which was not a good place to be. I also know, roughly, where the overall shape is off with the thing, and possibly how to fix it. I expect it to hit 105K in rewrites to get a solid first draft, and the Beta of Awesome normally notices things to help me flesh it out a little from there.

I am still heartbroken over Molly–as are those who knew her for her short life (and frustrated over the lack of remorse/playing the victim her previous owner is doing right now)–and that whole situation, so I can’t really celebrate, but I am pleased it’s done and I’m happy with the book. Because it’s messy but I love it, and I’ve had more fun writing it than anything in recent memory. I swear, one day it will see the light of day, and will be dedicated to Lilith Saintcrow, for when she assured me I was going through a normal thing and that I’d recover.

The book also contains a scene where my heroine kicks a yeti in the balls. So there’s that.

Of course I promptly went and did this.

writer walking around in a bathrobe falling into bed exhuasted sleeping kitten

 So, yeah. Not really in a celebratory mood, but happy to have it off my plate. Of course I have to be responsible and focus on for-pay writing projects for a few months because my finances are seriously hurting. By summer, I’ll hopefully have decided on either Oblivion or Nairobi Spy Book to write next–we’ll see what’s next in line.

I can, at least, say I feel more like myself again, and I take tremendous comfort in that when everything else is pulling me under.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: life, livi talbot, personal, still flying

April 13, 2014 By Skyla Dawn Cameron

Molly

photo (18)

At the end of March, Mum ended up taking in a new dog. In a nutshell, a coworker knew of a family who no longer wanted the dog, and she couldn’t take it but she knew the conditions the dog was living in, and Mum couldn’t bear to see her kept in that situation either, so she took her in.

Molly on Day One.

Her name was Molly.

She was a Great Dane/Mastiff cross, three years old. Ridiculously underweight. Pressure sores on both sides of her body from lying on cement most of the time. The family, who’d had her since she was a puppy, said she was “too big” for the house, so kept her (reportedly) in a garage, where she went unwalked, unnoticed, and I question if she ever had suitable food or water. Her ears were infected, she clearly had a skin allergy, and when confronted with these facts, the owners denied knowing anything was wrong with her. Her collar was extended as far a it would go and was too tight; if she gained any weight, it would’ve embedded in her skin.

Molly seemed to be fitting in with her new family–three new canine siblings, good quality food, constant access to water, and regular play time in the backyard. She was sweet, friendly, and gentle. She didn’t quite know how to play with toys, though she was learning.

But her health still wasn’t great. Despite vet-prescribed medication cleaning up her ears, and new food to improve her coat and skin health, something was still wrong. She became depressed, sensitive to touch, and stopped eating, and was rushed back to the vet yesterday where she was put on an IV, a heating blanket, and monitored while they figured out what her bloodwork said.

Molly died in the night.

Molly and her sister Sami.

The vet still isn’t certain, exactly, what killed her in technical terms; her entire system was on the fritz according to her bloodwork. But what is certain is that this didn’t happen to her in thirteen days. This is weeks if not months of neglect. This is a dog who was exhibiting symptoms–loss of appetite, depression, lethargy–for at least several weeks prior to her death. Symptoms that any reasonable owner, who paid the slightest bit of attention, would have noticed, investigated, and had treated. I will grant that, without knowing precisely what was wrong with her, maybe, MAYBE, her early death was always in the cards. But her suffering was entirely preventable.

“At least she’s in a better place” doesn’t work for me. BECAUSE THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. And if my mum hadn’t gotten her, Molly would’ve continued to suffer without vet care, love, or attention until she eventually died alone.

This dog was killed by neglect on the part of irresponsible humans.

  • It is not difficult to open google and search for different dog breeds before deciding on a puppy. If you live in a small house, get a small dog. Don’t be afraid to ask shelter workers about the animal you’re considering to find something compatible. Everything is cute and furry but hamsters, for example, are nocturnal and not great pets for kids; rabbits are often not big on cuddling and not great for small children either. Research. GREAT DANES WILL BECOME FUCKING HUGE.
  • Animals are a lifelong commitment. In many cases, this means devoting fifteen to twenty years. Not an “until they’re inconvenient”(“we had a baby”, “we had to move”, “it’s sick”, “we got divorced”, etc) commitment–LIFELONG.
  • Do not get pets for your children. Molly was, reportedly, the kids’ puppy, and they didn’t walk her or take care of her. When you get a pet for your kid, remember 99% of the time the responsibility to care for it–whether it’s a hamster or a dog–will fall on you. If you are not prepared for that, get them a stuffed toy instead.
  • To go with all of the above, pets are not presents. Easter is around the corner and stupid people will be buying bunnies and chicks for their kids. DO NOT DO THIS. Rabbits? They are not inexpensive pets. Did you know females need to be spayed? How about the fact that they can live 10-12 years? (Mine is 11 next month.) They require the same upkeep cats do.
  • Kids learn from adult examples. If you don’t walk or care for your pet, they won’t either.
  • Know your pets. I realize I am in a unique position of being home all day with mine, but even the times when I wasn’t, I knew my animals. They can’t tell you how they feel. You have to rely on cues like behavior changes, weight loss, bathroom habits. Dogs hide some pain but cats are fucking fantastic at faking it.
  • Find a good local veterinarian. This is exactly like getting a doctor as a human: you need someone compatible with you, good with your animals, and if money’s an issue, find one who is upfront about fees and considerate of your budget (mine is).
  • And then take your fucking animals to the vet. I realize vet visits aren’t cheap. But they will always be more expensive IF YOU PUT THEM OFF. Vets *want* to help animals and they understand budgetary concerns, believe me. And you will at least be able to tell yourself you did all you could if the animal passes.
  • Put your pets on good food. Have a dog? Get them the fuck off of Beneful and all that shit. Start here. Again, good food is more expensive, but Molly’s ear infection and skin problems were allergies (I suspected grain). I’ve talked before about the importance of proper nutrition and how so many of these cheap, shit foods cause serious health problems. Understand what nutritional needs different animals require and how best to meet those needs.

I was going to say “Sorry for this turning into a lecture/rant” but, you know, I’M NOT SORRY. Because most of my cats came in off of the streets or from shelters, abandoned. I work with an animal organization. I talk with the local pet food store about the people who come in wanting bunnies for their small children. I see and hear about, damn near daily, the animals discarded because they’re inconvenient, or expensive, or no longer cute/novel. The animals who needlessly die because of neglectful humans.

The guardianship of an animal is a sacred responsibility. The entire care for another life rests on your shoulders. They have no voice, no options, and they live and die by the choices we make for them. Sometimes sickness and early death is unavoidable, it’s true. But not prolonged suffering.

Molly, a three-year-old dog who was entirely healthy when spayed as a puppy, should not have died.

Whoever you are reading this, wherever you are, be responsible for your pets. Teach that responsibility to your children. Speak up when you see an animal neglected or abused. Spay/neuter. Volunteer. Care. Realize that it is an honor and a privilege to be a guardian for another life.

And on the very slim chance Molly’s previous family comes across my blog: I will mince no words and say this is your fault. And it is in your best interest to turn around and walk the other way if our paths ever cross.

 

Rest in Peace, Molly.

April 2011 – April 2014

Day One, when she first got settled in her new home.

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: life, personal, pets

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MEET SKYLA DAWN

Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
Fifth-generation crazy cat lady. Bitchy feminist.
So tired all the goddamn time.

My characters kill people so I don’t have to.

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What I’m Working On:

Writing Elis 5. Also kind of sort of writing Waverly 8.

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.