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Skyla Dawn Cameron

My characters kill people so I don't have to.

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November 25, 2022 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

Stocking Up, or Trying Not To

Not gonna lie, all the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales are stressful because I’m outta cash–I’ve got gifts on my credit card I need to pay off (along with groceries; one store is late paying this month)–though I was very, very tempted a few times. “Look, this thing I use regularly is on sale! I’m going to need it in a few months anyway!” Okay yes, Skyla, but you’ll just have to wait. At the moment it’s still a want, not a need.

My natural inclination is to stock up. On everything. And keep backups. Because I’ve trudged through the snow for an hour every day to work in running shoes with holes in them and unable to afford new ones, so I keep backup running shoes. I loathe ramen because it reminds me of being poor, but I still stock up on packages and fill the pantry when I see them at 50% off, because I’ve been to bed hungry too many times. I download free Kindle books in genres I never read just in case I miraculously have time to get through the hundreds on my TBR and can’t afford something new to read.

I can’t explain why I stock up on first aid supplies, though, other than general zombie preparedness. Plus I live in Ontario, I’m better off treating wounds and factures at home.

Experiences leave long-lasting affects on the brain, and while I’ve read enough to know you can make new neuropathways, I don’t know how effective that would be for me given the overall instability of my life. I am, admittedly, in a slightly better position than I have been previously, but it is not security and I still worry monthly about making rent.

Anyway. Sales!

Solomon’s Seal is 99c at Kobo this weekend. It’s been six years and I assume anyone reading this already has it, but maybe you know someone who might want to check it out.

The Twitter implosion concerns me as that’s where 95% of my premade cover sales have come from. Even regular clients who’ve picked them up remember to check the selection when I post them on Twitter. I may try to add one or two more on Monday, if I’ve got a few minutes. Already I notice views ticking down from where they used to be as a lot of people who used to share the sales have left the bird app, so when it’s gone completely, that’ll probably no longer be an income stream for me (which makes me nervous but, well, here we are).

Black Friday Sale on premade covers. Coupon code MYHEARTWILLGOON at checkout. Excluding sale items.

The MYHEARTWILLGOON coupon code also works at Payhip, should anyone need to flesh out their collection.

Watcher of the Woods is almost ready to go, I’ve got it formatted for print and to go to the proofer shortly. Then I’ve got a few minutes of breathing room to write some new things before doing some more passes on next year’s three releases (final version of Soul Spell, then the first two Waverly books). While I feel like I’m accomplishing next to nothing right now, I keep reminding myself that Hell Fire is the only thing I really have to finish writing in the next six months; worst-case scenario, I can slot the third Waverly book into spring 2024.

But much like hoarding old pairs of running shoes in case I run out, I’m doing the same with manuscripts; last year after Yampellec’s Idol was out and I had nothing else scheduled, I got my-career-is-over level terrified (this is why nagging me is not helpful; I am already in a panic all the fucking time).

So anyway, Watcher. In it, the heroine is reading a book by Norah from Dweller on the Threshold, and in the paperback version there’s the actual pages. Because I’m a nerd and those things make me happy.

Dweller in paperback and hardcover had all kinds of little details, like the notes and scribbles Norah finds are right in the book, and I wanted to do something similar here. I don’t really sell a lot in print, but it’s a nice detail for those into that. I think I’ll be able to put together some cool Etsy packages when it’s out in February.

I’ve got a couple of books to read for work so I’m not reading anything for pleasure right now, but I did watch Wednesday on Netflix. While it’s a fairly standard teen-magic-school-predictable-mystery fare, it’s done well, with great performances across the board, and if you’ve ever wondered what a conversation with my friend Dina James is like, look no further than the titular character.

Gif of Wednesday Addams saying I do like stabbing

I also finished A Plague Tale: Requiem, and I both hope there’s a third and also hope that Amicia retires.

I like seeing story-based video games tackle the consequences of all the long-term murder these characters do, but it does mean I reach a point where I’m like “Please leave these poor girls alone and give them some therapy.” (While I don’t play exclusively female-led games, it’s what I veer toward, so I can’t say if there’s the same pattern in male-led games. But Ellie, Lara, and Amicia all need some group therapy together.)

(I love photo mode.)

(I should probably take my own advice there and get poor Livi some therapy. She is climbing her way back up again, though, I promise.)

I was going to talk about my Xmas gift to myself, my little countertop expresso bar, but this is long and I’m tired and I have to work. Today I’m subsisting almost entirely on a Bailey’s latte, and I do prefer my mocha frapp to the store-bought one because it’s a little less sweet.

But Shawn likes it very much, despite all the noises it makes.

Final reminder, in case I don’t blog until late next week: this month is the last chance to get Witch Hunt in ebook for all patrons. December it bumps up to $5+ patrons going forward. Print is at Amazon for everyone, at least.

ETA: The Painscreek Killings is like $5 on Steam right now for the weekend sale–this is well worth grabbing, as it’s a good little mystery walking simulator.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: life, sales, writing

December 7, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 2 Comments

Patreon’s Fee Changes

Old-Fashioned Patronage Makes Things Possible

Remember when I lost 65lbs and couldn’t get out of bed and vomited all day? Yeah that was fun.

In December 2014, I was a month or so into remission after six months of serious, chronic illness that left me bed-ridden until I was finally diagnosed. The diagnosis, while good news in that I could get better, came with a price tag because it meant I’d have to buy medication to take daily for the rest of my life.

In Canada, our doctor and hospital visits are all covered, but not our medication. People typically get that through their job benefits…of which I have none, since I’m a freelancer, and buying private insurance would be more than I was paying for meds. But being a freelancer, my income coming from royalties and editing/design for others, means everything is very unpredictable.

I have months where I am comfortable (like late spring this year) and flush with cash; I have other months (like this past fall) where I am living paycheck to paycheck and have no idea how I’m going to pay bills. I’ve put off buying groceries to stretch money as far as I can; I’ve kept heat off in winter as to not have a huge bill; I’ve made people gifts at Christmas because I don’t have the extra income to buy anything. One thing I have not been able to skip out on is my meds, though, because I am so afraid of getting sick again–if that happens, I am looking at more out-of-town doctors visits, a battery of tests to track the disease’s progress, and potential surgery to stop horrible pain and, well, prevent me from dying.

So this is why I initially set up a Patreon account–I knew if meds were going to cost X amount a month, this could potentially ensure I always had that money. Aunt Judy was my first patron before I even announced it, and while the income it provides has fluctuated over the years, it has (for the most part) continually risen as I’ve learned from my experiences and tweaked my offerings.

Beyond that, it has guaranteed I continue writing urban fantasy.

Before I got sick, I consistently churned out 500K words a year. Three Skyla books, a few for-pay offerings, and experimental work that either I started and didn’t complete or just picked at for fun.

Even with these three years since I’ve been better, I no longer have that stamina physically, emotionally, or mentally. I have done every trick in the book to build myself back up again but I am just not the same person. I can do maybe 350K – 400K a year now, and that’s a whole entire Skyla book or 2-3 for-pay projects that I am no longer able to fit in.* So something is always being sacrificed.

Urban fantasy is not sustainable for me as a writer on its own, but Patreon has made it a little more possible to continue publishing it.

Financially, it’s a guaranteed few thousand a year that contributes to my overall writing income.

Patreon is why I wrote Oblivion (I felt guilty there were these supporters waiting for it).

Patreon is why I wrote a couple of Demons stories (Prey and Resist).

Patreon is why I wrote Ashford’s Ghost as it was originally intended to be a short story reward.

Patreon is why I’ve been revising and polishing Tiger’s Memory and it’s now being read by people other than a couple of friends.

Surprise: more writing sold = more writing in the future!

Mentally and emotionally, it connects me with readers more than anything else has.

Writing is a very solitary task. I’m okay with that because I don’t play well with others, but when something is published and sent off in the void, one rarely hears how it is received. There are faceless, nameless numbers showing sales and money that appears in my bank account (all good!) but I don’t know who those people are, I don’t know what they think of the work–it’s all very abstract.

Patreon gives me names and faces to connect with. It gives me people I directly thank with every release. It makes tangible the people who will be let down if I give into one of my many defeatist depressive episodes and delete my existence and books from the web.

Now, unfortunately, all this is set to change.

A No Good, Very Bad Decision

Yesterday Patreon announced a new fee system. Previously, when you pledge to me, a portion of that goes to Patreon, but usually I took home about 90% of every dollar. I get hit with some PayPal fees as well, but it’s the cost of doing business. Now they’re promising me 95% but! But! Tacking on an extra fee to every. goddamn. pledge. A fee of 2.9% + $0.35 per pledge.

For a $1 pledge, this is a total of $1.38.

If you’re a patron of ten people for $1 each, that means you are getting that 38c fee x10 even though only one transaction actually goes through on your end (taking $10 out at the start of the month). In that example, that person supporting ten people is now paying an extra $3+ a month than they’d budgeted, so are they likely to then delete three pledges? Probably and I don’t blame them.

Of that $1.38, Patreon is taking home 43c on that transaction while I get 95c, so let’s be clear: this is not about benefiting me, a creator, but about Patreon lining their pockets. I absolutely support people getting paid and covering operating costs, but all this is doing is punishing microtransactions and people already giving all they can.

A glance at their support Twitter page is nothing but “oh, we’ve really carefully considered this and have been experimenting with patrons and creators before implementing it site-wide”. (And you know what? They probably did and decided the sacrifice was worth it.)

Let me be explicit here: I was not consulted. I was not warned. In their months of “careful” consideration, I don’t know a single Patreon creator or patron who was aware of these discussions. Instead it’s hitting right before the holiday when money is already tight and folks are already rethinking their support.

Yes, I have already lost significant patronage and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, nor has it been implemented yet. And I do not blame any patrons in the least if they chose to delete their pledges to me or their account on the entire platform–I will have to rethink what I pledge to as well.

What This Means for EVERYONE

To continue to be explicit here: I cannot continue publishing urban fantasy if I lose my Patreon income stream**. It is not sustainable for me.

When I mentioned above the sacrifices I’ve had to make since recovering from being sick, it comes down to what I write: for-pay projects that will at least cover my time and add a little profit, or urban fantasy that does not break even. I cannot maintain both. I cut back for-pay projects last year to write and release Oblivion, Solomon’s Seal, Odin’s Spear, Ashford’s Ghost, and soon Zheng’s Tomb, and although I’ve had a small boost to my Skyla Dawn Cameron-related income, there has been a drastic decrease in my overall income as a result of this shift in focus. With Patreon continually increasing and giving me room to publish more, the expectation was that I’d pick up more readers as I released more books and eventually Livi etc would be sustainable.

Beyond that, the books of mine that you read are not just things I do for money: I bleed on each and every one of those pages. I pour everything into them, and it’s writing these stories that keeps me alive when I really, really don’t want to be. For all these years, I have survived my brain trying to kill me because of writing.

Should Patreon not reverse this decision, or if I don’t find a workable alternative readers will follow me to, I cannot see continuing. My beloved old dog was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and she needs an additional medication, putting her meds up to $200/month now. I have to start focusing on writing the things that will allow me to take care of her and my bills.

Please, Patreon, do not do this to creators. It is going to affect the smaller independent ones tremendously.

Patrons, if you chose to delete your pledge, I understand. And you know what? Do so without guilt, because money is the only thing that speaks to large companies, and if they lose your dollars, maybe they’ll change their minds. I also encourage you to drop them a line with your opinion.

I am continuing to investigate alternatives and will post an update if I’m able to move elsewhere. Otherwise, Livi #3 will be out next year and…well.

We’ll see.

 

* I suspect if I wasn’t editing, that might make a difference, but not much I can do about that since it pays the bills.

** Not to add salt to the wound, but I was finally, finally feeling able to go back to Zara after the Exhumed piracy debacle and making it a Patreon reward, and now that definitely isn’t happening.

 

ETA:

So why am I offering these Patreon-exclusive stories to drive up membership at the platform when they’re going to act in ways that negatively impact my income? At least for December, you can read Tales from Alchemy Red: Prey for a buck. I might yet add Resist.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: patreon, update, writing

November 11, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron Leave a Comment

Survivor ≠ Broken

This originally appeared this summer as my monthly writing-related essay for Patrons of Snark. With the very public reckoning currently taking place against men who have sexually assaulted/harassed people (primarily women), and the rather relevant subplot in Odin’s Spear, it seemed relevant to post now. It’s edited slightly from the original version. For exclusive monthly writing essays, check out Patreon!

If you’re stressed/triggered by the discussions lately, skip this one if needed.

This post also contains spoilers for the Livi Talbot books, specifically Odin’s Spear. That book came out in February, however, which means plenty of time to have read it. Read on if you’d like background on why I made certain story decisions.


“Why is there so much rape in fiction?” It’s the common refrain among readers and writers alike, and I’ve asked the same question. The three most common irritating places it’s seen: to give a tough heroine a tragic backstory, to give male characters motivation (when their wife/sister/daughter is raped), and to to add “realism” since the world is a terrible place.

A whole lot of it is bullshit, tbh. A whole lot of writers misuse this terrible thing that happens to real people because they’re lazy storytellers, ignorant, or just don’t give a shit. And fiction as a whole could use a lot less rape.

But knowing all that, I still include characters who are survivors of rape, molestation, and intimate partner violence in my books–it’s a deliberate, conscious choice, and one I stand behind. I’ve blogged before about Why I Write the Terrible Things I Write. That post was written partly referencing Livi’s books, but they hadn’t been published so I didn’t go into detail.

While it’s more alluded to in Solomon’s Seal and not outright said (that I can recall?), I will explicitly say it: Livi Talbot is a rape survivor. 

That was a deliberate choice on my part: much like I wanted to write a single mom who was a badass adventurer, I also wanted a book about a rape survivor that is also fun.

Because whatever has happened to her, Livi is not broken.

This thing–this terrible, unspeakable thing she has gone through–is a facet of her character, but doesn’t define her. It changed her, but so did the other major experiences in her life. I don’t say this to minimize the experience or deny how that trauma stays with her–because it has, it’s very much apart of her, even if she doesn’t focus on it in her narrative.

Stories where trauma clings to survivors are necessary. Ana Fidatov was deeply damaged by the intimate partner violence and horror she experienced, so much so that she had to reinvent herself as a new person for the next three hundred years in Zara Lain; Dessa and Vaughn, neither of whom you’ve met yet, have been through horror in their young lives and both struggle to navigate the world carrying the weight of it for the duration of that (unpublished, five-book) series.

Just as necessary, IMO, are the stories where survivors reach a point of being happy. Where they can have relationships, where they can thrive. Where they can jump in a dragon’s mouth to defeat it and kick a yeti in the balls. Being raped by an intimate partner did not change the fact that Livi is a badass adventurer at heart, nor did it cause her to become a badass adventurer.

Similarly, it was a deliberate choice to introduce someone in Livi’s life in the form of Richard Moss.

He tramples all over her boundaries and gives off red flags she ignores, because all of us have those blindspots. No matter what we’ve been through, no matter how far we think we’ve come, the rape culture we live in–that women are raised in–is something that has to be constantly pushed back against. And Richard was part of that, particularly in Odin’s Spear.  Over and over she doubts her gut feeling about him, over and over she feels confident she can handle him. Livi grew up around men like him, who feel entitled to whatever they want–when she was raped as a teenager, it was very similar to the situation she finds herself in with him–and when that’s so heavily ingrained in you, it’s a pattern that’s easy to fall back into.

Fighting back has consequences that reverberate throughout the next couple of books because rejecting an intimate partner isn’t a triumphant moment that saves the day–he doesn’t crawl back under his rock, never to be heard from again. That sting to Richard’s ego, his inability to have power over her, doesn’t go away. He still slut-shames her at every chance; he uses every opportunity to drag her through the mud, to affect her reputation and career. (If I can promise you anything, however, it’s that he will fucking get his eventually.)

I don’t write stories about survivors to add a level of realism, but to add a level of transformation–to show consequences to rape, to combat rape culture by placing the culpability on the perpetrator.

It allows me to have a moment where Pru can simply say to Livi in Zheng’s Tomb “It’s not your fault” and have every woman who sees herself in Livi hear it too.

It allows me to contrast Richard’s inability to say no with another (future) romantic partner of Livi’s immediately backing off the moment he senses she’s physically uncertain.

It allows me to revisit a moment for all women who wanted to fight back and couldn’t, and have Livi beat the hell out of her attacker and get away.

It allows me to show everyone on the ship–even people Livi doesn’t know–demonstrate that they have her back, guns ready, to run Richard off.

Not everyone has a supportive friend, or the ability to fight back, or a network with rifles telling an entitled man to fuck off, but if I can find a way to share that in fiction, maybe I can give someone a little hope.

So as a writer, if you’re tackling rape in fiction, I say nothing should ever be off the table, but you have to question your motivations for writing it.

  • Is it to put the heroine in danger so the hero can save her? Nope, not a good enough reason.
  • Is it to motivate the hero when a woman in his life is raped? Yeah, don’t do that either.
  • How about making the story seem more “real” because women always get raped, right? Uh, do better, motherfucker.
  • To give your heroine a traumatic backstory? There are so. many. better. ways. Seriously.

But exploring the aftermath, having your characters push back against rape culture and victim-blaming, and/or exploring what happened to you in a safe setting where you can maybe change the outcome? All valid choices.

At its core, Livi’s story is about a woman who has not had an easy life but isn’t broken by it. A survivor who keeps rising and surviving, finding love and laughter and comfort with her found family. Someone who can say to others, “This thing happened to me but I’ve reached a point of being okay, and you can have hope that you will be okay too.”

And that’s something I hope readers, whatever they’ve survived in life, can identify with.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: livi talbot, writing

September 30, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 1 Comment

The Book Is DED

Once again, our heroine is victorious, wounded but the one left standing. I wanted Livi #3 done by the end of the month, and by god, I did it.

Physically and mentally, I am completely exhausted. I know some writers get this and some writers don’t, but the feeling is difficult to describe to non-writers.

First of all, the last ten thousand words or so were non-stop action–I am physically tired from the constant running and fighting and running some more. When the survivors got out of the tomb last night, before the book was done, I literally dropped to the floor and lay on the carpet from exhaustion, my heart pounding. (This was a REALLY EXCITING DEVELOPMENT for the cats.)

Second, my brain feels like swiss cheese. Literally, I think if you did an MRI right now, you’d find holes in my brain, little dark spots where the story came out. I can feel them there. All I want are carbs. Pasta, bread, fries, chips. I always stuff those holes with starch and let them repair for a few days.

The rest of me is all raw nerves. I’m a little jittery, sensitive to light and noise, and after humanning today, I went to my bedroom where it was dark (no windows) and my entire body sighed with relief. The changed in me, physically, mentally, and emotionally during the final lunge toward completion are literal and palpable to people around me, particularly with Livi books given how physical they are for the character.

I need at least a few days to repair and recover before I’m myself again; this weekend is for celebratory booze and carbs and working on the gothic romance.

Revision is going to be…rough. I’m taking a few weeks to step back, then I’ll begin the process of trying to sew Livi #3 into something presentable for readers. Then I’ll find out from the beta if I succeeded. I’ve kindly asked Lili to help me with the cover copy. Because it’s going to need very heavy revision, I’m not setting a release date. Best care scenario, late February to fit when it takes place in the book; otherwise I’m hoping for April or so? I am so grateful for reader patience between releases; before I got sick, I probably could’ve kept up with two books a year, but a lot has changed since 2014. Stress could make me sick again, and it’s more important to me to get these books right than whip them off in a couple of months. I promise, no matter what, Livi #3 will be the best goddamn book it can be.

In the meantime, a reminder that Ashford’s Ghost–Livi #2.5–will be a single release in a few months, a Livi Christmas short still will be available in December, and if you have the pennies to chip in on Patreon, folks at $10+ get a monthly dose of West.

For now…for now, I rest and will rise again soon.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: livi talbot, update, writing

September 24, 2017 By Skyla Dawn Cameron 1 Comment

Almost There…

It became pretty clear this week that I can’t take an actual vacation without literally leaving town (and I’m tossing ideas around for next year, including going somewhere without internet access). Still, I persevered, getting in some word count on the gothic romance I’ve been playing with and Livi #3, Zheng’s Tomb. That book is now at 85K words–the books in this series usually sit at around 105K in their final versions, but I’ve skipped a couple of scenes while others are very bare-bones. I anticipate the zero draft coming in at 90K – 95K, and adding more flesh later will bump it over 100K.

One of the biggest difficulties with these books is the sheer amount of research necessary; I tend to do a lot of preliminary reading about the locales and mythology to start with, surround myself with notes, and then fine tune as I go with more research as specifics crop up.

Of course, then I accidentally ended up with the kitten from hell, who pulls my notes off the corkboards and dry-erase boards over my couch. Her fetish for paper results in everything being shredded, and her fascination with sharp pointy objects means I am constantly stepping on thumbtacks. Several times white writing, I turned to reach for a note or a map only to remember all the boards are empty.

As a result, significant time has been tacked onto my drafting and I am this close to drowning her in the bay.

So the book is very, very rough, and I have not eliminated the possibility that the entire foundation might be flawed. I anticipate finishing it this week around freelance work because the end is in sight, the book is under my skin, and I’m not going to be able to walk away until it’s good and done.

Given the heavy revision necessary, the beta read, the next revision, copyedits, and god knows maybe another revision after that, I don’t anticipate it being out until next spring or summer at least.

I’m sorry for that. I know waits between releases suck. These books have a lot of hours put into them, they’re unfortunately not something I can whip off quickly and still have them up to par. The good news is that #4 is done and just in need of an updated draft, so it could theoretically release shortly thereafter. I’m dying to write #5, which takes place mostly in Peru.

There will be more Livi at Christmas in the form of a longish (9K words) short story, and I’ll probably release Ashford’s Ghost as a single release when I’ve got a substantial part of Zheng’s Tomb I can include as an excerpt. AG dovetails straight into ZT quite literally, there’s about a week story-wise between them, so if you haven’t checked the novella out, it’ll help tide you over.

It’s not even midnight, still early, and I have gas left in the tank–I want to keep writing, to just dive in and go go go go until I reach the end, but I haven’t the slightest clue what they’re about to encounter next in the tomb. Beyond, that is, twin rivers of mercury, and currently trying to figure out how likely they are to breathe in the vapors and die horribly of heavy metal poisoning. So I’ll let it cook and simmer in my brain, and go back tomorrow night to tackle another chapter or two. All the ingredients are there, it’s just a matter of seeing how it’s come together when I take the lid off.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: livi talbot, writing

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MEET SKYLA DAWN

Writer of urban fantasy, thrillers/mysteries, and horror.
Fifth-generation crazy cat lady. Bitchy feminist.
So tired all the goddamn time.

My characters kill people so I don’t have to.

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What I’m Working On:

Writing Elis 5. Also kind of sort of writing Waverly 8.

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.