I had another week from hell. And it *really* sucks to not be able to explain why--I'm such a loudmouth and it's killing me to only be able to bitch privately. Le sigh.
I gave my mum the book I just wrote (YA paranormal called Abandoned) to read 'cause I was really proud of it (a month later and I DON'T want to burn it). She just finished it and said it made her cry at the end. This is good because my mother never cries with books and occasionally jokes that she has no feelings. So yeah, that's probably the best thing a writer can hear--we love to make people cry. Er, yes, we're a little twisted. So?
I'm spending Valentine's Day with Alistair from Dragon Age. He hasn't bought me chocolate or anything, but I'm sure I can get him to put out one of these days... I've also decided that the only reliable men exist in fiction, so if you have a y chromosome, tread very carefully around me right now...
Here are a few links for you today:
* You want to follow Ann Aguirre on Twitter. She'll give out some Hell Fire ARCs (WANT!) when she hits 2K followers, but more importantly, she's a lovely person who saved my sanity with Dragon Age.
* Slush Pile Survival Workshop - A fellow editor and I are giving this workshop locally in two weeks and it's going to be loads of fun. There are still spots available, so if you're in the Durham Region, sign up!
* Kevin Smith was kicked off of an airplane for being too fat. Kate Harding has more over at Shapely Prose.
* Bitch Magazine posted their explanation of why it's not anti-feminist to use "douche bag" as an insult. And I love it--that's what I've been saying for ages.
* Clients from Hell - Designers post snippets of discussions with some horrible clients. It's funny 'cause it's true.
* Last year on the blog, I wrote about former TV crushes as an excuse to post pictures of hawt men. Once again, fictional boys FTW!
* I'm blonde again. It's easier to keep up than the red. This time it's dark blonde with light streaks (I have no pictures of the light streaks, though). Of course, I'm using a black and white pic 'cause all my faveevilladies on Twitter have classy b/w pictures.
(look at that--I think I'm classy)
Beaker from The Muppets sings a ballad. Or tries. Beaker is my favourite.
You know, I have some real problems with romance sometimes.
First, don't slap me. I don't look down on the genre (and romance writers make a killing, so I envy that), and I like some mushy stuff as much as the next person. But I'm coming at this as an acquiring editor who sees a LOT of romance novels.
What bothers be about romance is that a) too often I see shortcuts taken instead of development of a real love story, and b) there's a predictability immediately (when I say "romance" we all think "boy meets girl, they have obstacles, they live happily ever after).
Well, okay, and c) it almost always consists of white, heteronormative pairings that reinforce rigid gender stereotypes and that makes Skyla's head go BOOM! But that's another talk for another day.
There are fantastic romances out there, but doing acquisitions for our romance imprint, I see the same things over and over. They are Soul Mates so they will automatically fall in love and have their HEA, regardless of what their personalities are like. The have no lives, no desires, outside of their own relationship. Everyone's goal is a diamond ring at the end. I never doubt, even once, that the boy will get the girl and they'll live on and on with no struggles forever and ever. And they're all white straight people.
You know what? No.
Love is messy. Love is hard. Love happens between people unexpectedly. Love doesn't always lead to a happily ever after. At it's best, love can help you rise above things; at it's worse, it'll suck out your soul and make you a crazy person.
As a reader, and an acquiring editor, I don't want to read about flowers and candles and That Perfect Someone. I *want* that unpredictability as two strong personalities struggle to make room for one another. I don't want that security of knowing it'll all be okay, because, you know, I'm a grown-up and I *know* there's no HEA for people who don't work for it. I don't want to read lazy writing.
And as a writer...I can't write romance to save my life. If I could, I would, then add some hawt sex and make a bundle. But I always have a love story in my work because I'm a Libra and I have love on the brain. Romance, though? Nope.
And here's the review of one of my books that got me thinking about this:
"One thing is certain beyond any doubt: Wolfe is a stunningly good book. ...[snip]... What I was less certain of as I read, was whether Wolfe can be described as a romance. The story focuses primarily on River. She is not by any stretch of the imagination your average heroine, and though the plot revolves around her struggle to rejoin the were she had chosen as lifelong mate, her animal-like personality and pragmatic approach to life precludes the standard sex-obsessed main characters that tend to populate the hotter romances. Daryl, her chosen mate, is removed from River for the biggest part of the book.
However, I would implore all fans of romance to buy this book and read it, because while it is not your average romance novel, it is a story about love. Not just the happily-ever-after fairy tale kind, the real kind, the sort of love that takes two people and cements them together in relationships that are like lighthouses on rocky shores.
In a world where too often ‘romance’ is synonymous with ‘superficial’, Wolfe is a tale that runs deeper. It was only once I’d put the book down that I realised through the absorbing entertainment, frequent laughs, and thought-provoking emotional pieces, Skyla Dawn Cameron had gently led me as reader through a thorough study of a raw, real, committed love.
To have a reviewer that Gets It is a wonderful thing--to have a reviewer put it so eloquently and quotable is one in a million.
I write about werewolves and vampires and zombie romantic comedies and all kinds of silly things. But all that stuff is window dressing. Beneath it all, I'm trying to write about people and those Real Things we all go through. Like love. And I'd love more writers to get it through their heads that their job isn't to repeat genre tropes, it's to tell a meaningful story that feels real to the reader.
So I don't write romance. I write loves stories (amidst all the killing and violence and Damaged Main Characters [TM]). And some days, at least for some readers, I get it right. This is a Good Thing.
(Also, that picture is--obviously--not the Wolfe book cover...it's the promo poster I made featuring the two MC's.)
The lovely Shayne Winters and I had a beer at the pub today (well, she had Pepsi because she's the designated driver) and got talking about, of course, publishing because that's just what two writers/editors do. We're interesting like that.
We got discussing the multitude advice out there. Everyone has some and they REALLY want to dish it out. And often they seem like they know wtf they're talking about.
And the simple truth is that every writer out there is hungry for The Secret. The handshake, the password, the golden ticket, that ONE thing that's going to get them in the door and published.
The truth? Write a book that people want to read, and write it well.
There are lots of other factors (be professional and not a twat, follow the guidelines, have a website, put your left foot in and take your left foot out, blah blah). But everyone wants to look at all those little factors and NOT the important one: write well and make it something people want to read.
That self promotion thing? It's all well and good but the truth is that no one knows, for sure, what exactly works there. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. You can do as much or as little as me and see totally different results. There are ways to promote well, yes, but that's not a guarantee it'll be effective. The beautiful website? Kids, every agent and editor agrees that a web presence is a must, but we've still contracted authors without having a site yet. There's nothing on the "do we sign this person?" checklist for an active blog.
All the other pre-publishing advice? That din of noise with everyone telling you this and that? Look kids, I talk a lot about the other factors here because I'm already assuming that you're writing well. So I stress the guidelines, I tell you to buck up and not whine, I warn about the many frustrations in the industry. But following the guidelines is not magically going to make someone accept your book if the book sucks. Being a nice, funny person isn't going to magically make someone accept your book if the books sucks. Having teh most fabulous website or doing the hokey pokey isn't going to magically make someone accept your book. Previous publishing credits, legit or otherwise, won't magically make someone take your next book.
If you're looking for a shortcut and ignoring that important piece of the puzzle--the book--that tells me you don't have enough confidence in your work to let it stand on your own. That should tell YOU that you have a problem, and no number of acceptance letters will solve it for you.
So. Advice. Who do you listen to in the din? Agents say one thing, which sometimes overlaps with editors, and then authors say something that may or may not match with what you've just heard and, oh yeah, all those unpublished people have opinions and speak loudly too. It's getting pretty noisy out there.
Well, what kind of writer do you want to be?
Play a game with me for a moment. What kind of writer do you want to be like? Not whose books are like yours, necessarily, but who has the career you'd love?
Shayne and I played this game today over Keith's White (not as good as Rickards, btw) and Pepsi. I said, hands down, I want to be Lilith Saintcrow when I grow up. Besides her utterly honest and gracious online persona (okay, so I'll never have that going for me), I greatly admire both her work ethic and her writing ability. She writes wonderful books with emotional resonance wrapped in an entertaining package, she puts out a couple a year without sacrificing quality, and she manages to support her family doing it. That's the kind of career I want; that's the kind of writer I want to be. So when Lili posts her Friday writing blog posts, I'm there. I'm listening. No two writers will ever have the same career path, but I know that if I want to be the kind of writer who lives off of fiction writing and puts out a couple books a year, I need to pay attention to what writers like her are doing.
Shayne is taking Holly Lisle's Think Sideways course. Ms. Lisle is someone who has dozens of books published and Shayne really admires her ability to work under deadlines, keep producing quality work, and how she conquers the challenges of being a working, professional writer. She says the course has been invaluable to her.
So when you, gentle reader who is also a writer, are wondering whose advice to take when it's all loud and a little conflicting, MY advice (and it really is just that) is to think about where you want your career to go. Are you the hobbyist who dabbles in different areas for fun? Listen to dabbling hobbyists--you'll make great friends and enjoy yourself. Are you the Great Canadian Novelist who puts out one book every three years? Find the authors like that and pay attention to their stories of how they got there (and then tell me who they are 'cause I have no fucking clue). Do you want to support your family as a working fiction writer? Obviously, checking out advice from Lili and Holly would be a good start.
Looking for the quick fix? Drawn to the stories of instant success, the exceptions to the rule?
Folks, if the rule is that hard work, talent, and perseverance lead to publication, please explain to me WHY you would like to be the exception to that? Or, better yet, ask *yourself* why you don't think this craft, this calling, is worth your blood, sweat, and tears.
Because my opinion? Writing is worth the pain and effort that I put into it, and the quick path to success isn't fucking good enough for me. My advice? If you don't feel the same, go buy a lotto ticket 'cause I don't think you belong in this field.
There are lots of types of participial phrases. I'll leave you to learn about them all. The one that drives me bonkers, though, is present participial, and when it's stuck at the beginning of the sentence.
Lots of new writers fall into the pattern of starting sentences the same way. The. He. She. I. Then someone points it out to them, and they're all, "OMG! I must do something more interesting!" so they start rearranging sentences. And they think it's a good idea to stick a present participial phrase at the start of the sentence, 'cause look! Now it doesn't start with the/he/she/I! Now it starts with a verb! I iz greatest author evah!
*twitch*
Okay, let's look at one of these babies for a moment.
Original sentence: He walked across the room and opened the door.
That's a solid sentence. Dry, but serviceable. Then the writer thinks OMGICAN'TSTARTWITHHE!!!
So it gets changed: Walking across the room, he opened the door.
THEREOMGTHAT'SPERFECT!
Please reread that.
He's opening the door while he's walking across the room? How effing small IS this damn room?
Besides the fact that frequently starting sentences that way is bloody irritating to read (seriously, no more than once or twice a page--if you're doing more than that, the frequent "ing" rhythm is damn annoying...it disrupts the flow of language and if you're trying for tension, you're going to lose it), it often has two things happening together at the same time that can't actually happen at the same time.
Let's look at another one that I've seen all too often:
Reaching across the desk, she opened the book.
Again...she's opening WHILE she's reaching?
Or:
Crying out his name, she kissed him long and hard.
Um, I don't think he wants to kiss a chick who is crying his name while her lips are sealed with his.
So how do you, newbie writer, make these sentences interesting without relying on starting with the/he/she/I or a present participial phrase?
Well, stop telling me what's going on, first of all. Let me (the reader) feel it. His heavy boots thudded on the worn hardwood as he crossed the room. A final glance over his shoulder at the empty space left behind revealed a room smaller and darker than the one from childhood memories. His fingers closed around the doorknob and gave the handle a hard twist to the right. He stared straight ahead, determined not to look back, and with a deep breath moved through the threshold.
Okay, still not great, but you know what? It's better. PLUS we've gone from one dull sentence to four that actually give you a sense of the space and character.
The ing-disease doesn't always mean you have a conflict of two things happening that can't happen at the same time. But they're awkward as hell and should only be used by those who know what they're doing.
Now, be good little bunnies and do a sweep for these in your next manuscript. Any competent editor would help you fix it in the first place, but then your chances of getting a competent editor when your manuscript is riddled with these is pretty slim.
Today an author who is much more famous than me and makes way more money casually said, in the context of a story about another writer, that he thought there was no greater flattery than someone stealing your books.
As a small press author who's first novel has been illegally downloaded more times than it was purchased in ebook (no small feat, as the ebook did well), I'd like to say that is unequivocally shit of the bull variety.
Real fans don't steal books. Readers who truly *love* books don't steal them.
(clipping this now to save those tired of my bitching--you're quite welcome to skip this entry)Read more
Um...the only thing I think you need to know is that nekros = zombies in this world, and the characters are coming back after running into some. On the way back, they found a dog--one that our narrator recognized and kinda freaked out about.
The advice for people who want to be professional writers is always the same thing: butt in chair. Put your butt in the chair because that's the only way writing is going to get done--if you sit your ass down and do it.
Once you've got your butt in the chair for awhile, though, it's easy to ignore your physical health and well-being. Also, I think it's common for us creative types to often be in our heads rather than our bodies, so we may not be that inclined to get active.Read more
I'm doing another read-through of my next novel Hunter before sending it off to my fab editor. I'm seriously hopeful we can come up with a series title (this is the sequel to Bloodlines and three other yet-to-be-written books were contracted last year) because I'm at a loss. And no, they can't be the "Zara Lain" books because she isn't always in them, or narrating. Although I'm sure she'd love me to make them all about her...
Anyways, here's a quick excerpt, just 'cause. Scene: Zara shows up and finds Ryann hiding out in the ladies' room.
"So what’s up? Why are you standing around in the bathroom?”
“Just needed some...space, I guess.”
“Oh.” Her cold gaze went to the bathroom’s other occupants. “Get the fuck out of here.”
“Excuse me,” one of them snapped, “but—”
“Do you like my boots?”
That caught all of the women off guard and even I looked at Zara with curiosity.
“Huh?” the other said.
Zara swung her leg forward, displaying her no doubt expensive footwear. “My boots. Do you like them?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Well, see, I’m about to shove them up your lopsided ass if you don’t get the fuck out of here so my friend and I can talk. Now leave.”
All three women left rather abruptly. I might have gone myself if I wasn’t a little scared of her.
“Alone at last.” Zara sighed. “So what did you want to talk about?”
I was so happy when she showed up in this book because she took over and made writing so much easier. Now I just wish she'd do that with the third book because it's kicking my ass...
"One thing is certain beyond any doubt: Wolfe is a stunningly good book. ...[snip]... What I was less certain of as I read, was whether Wolfe can be described as a romance. The story focuses primarily on River. She is not by any stretch of the imagination your average heroine, and though the plot revolves around her struggle to rejoin the were she had chosen as lifelong mate, her animal-like personality and pragmatic approach to life precludes the standard sex-obsessed main characters that tend to populate the hotter romances. Daryl, her chosen mate, is removed from River for the biggest part of the book.
Please reread that.
