ode to the minion

"I just work here."

A few weeks ago we hired a company minion...eer "Executive Assistant" (but her business cards say Professional Minion). She's the official assistant for me, my boss, and the art director, and her sole job is to answer questions and help get problems resolved.

She doesn't create policies. She doesn't run things. She filters hundreds of emails that come in and tracks replies to facilitate communication and expedite responses.

In short, she's everyone's friend. So why in the hell have many people been so rude to her?

(Isn't she sweet and adorable? Don't you just want to be super nice and friendly with her?)

I used to work at a convenience store as a clerk. And I had lots of people (customers and some delivery men) yell at me. They didn't like the prices, we didn't stock an item they wanted, my boss had a quarrel with a supplier and I got caught in the middle, the Bingo prize was a free ticket and not cash the winner wanted. All these problems and people flipped out on ME.

Well, I would shrug and say, "I just work here."

I don't know why anyone needs to get short with someone who is not a manager, who doesn't control anything, and who doesn't make policies. Look, I know I have the reputation as a bitch (which Jaime doesn't agree with, so clearly she is insanely awesome...or awesomely insane). I'm really not; only the stupid, rude, or incompetent incur my wrath. You know who I never yell at? Wait staff, secretaries, customer service people, etc. Awhile ago iTunes fucking pissed me off because I wanted ONE app for my iPod to help with work stuff and they wouldn't take PayPal or a gift card (and I don't have a credit card). When I wrote in to complain about their stupid policy, do you think I screamed at the poor girl who answered my complaint? Fuck no. She doesn't run iTunes Canada; she just works there. I was polite and thanked her for her help. Because that's how you treat another human being who is just doing her job.

And you know, my experience has been that pissy/demanding (and worse) emails don't get answered any faster than the nice ones. Why? For me, pissy ones take a long time to respond to because my first instinct is "Fight! Kill! Go for the throat!" when set off, so I usually have to set those emails aside for several hours until I calm down (else I wouldn't have the reputation as a bitch--I'd have the reputation as a psycho). And while the minion is nicer than I am, she won't be for long if she has to keep dealing with irate people who are far more short with her than they would *ever* be with me (and I'd deserve it more than her).

I guess what it comes down to is that I don't understand the need for bullying behaviour in adults. I don't understand the lack of politeness. While I don't take bullshit from people, that isn't the same as not having common decency. I realize we believe that douche bag attitudes sprang up with the invention of the internet, but my mum worked in customer service for thirty years and people were fucking rude back then too.

Now, this isn't to say that everyone has been rude with the assistant. Many, many have been pleasant and polite, and I have no wish to paint everyone with the same brush stroke. But I'm noticing a trend of, "You're available and I'm mad about something, so I'm going to take it out on you and/or send you six emails a day complaining about something that's out of your control."

That's not cool. That's childish.

We all get frustrated and annoyed. But of the myriad of ways of dealing with it and expressing oneself, there's no need to take it out on one's children, pets, or people just doing their goddamn jobs. So no matter where you are or what you're doing, think twice before you go off on someone in a lower level position who has nothing to do with whatever is pissing you off. Because that person just works there and doesn't deserve the abuse.