Best Day of the Worst Vacation Ever

Okay, the last three days have been lovely, due only in part to me being away from the internet (no offense, dear reader, as I heart you so hard). But in truth the most perfect day I've had this year--possibly in a long, long time--was Tuesday July 17. Great company. Great day for swimming (which I did). Great food (some of which I cooked). And, okay, it was mostly the great company.

Tuesday was great because I wasn't yet thinking of going home. It was a full day to just play, relax, smile, game, watch stuff, cook, talk, listen to music, etc. (Monday, we arrived; Wednesday, we went home--Tues was The Full Day.)

Guys, I was happy. For a whole day (well, cat kept me up and I didn't sleep well, but still). Not just an interlude of a couple of hours in an otherwise shitty day, but happy. FOR A WHOLE DAY. I didn't have to worry. I didn't have a ridiculous amount of responsibility plaguing me. It was just...being happy.

Weirdness.

It's pretty clear I need to unfuck my life and make some ch-ch-ch-changes, especially regarding sick systems. But that doesn't concern you, dear blog reader, and so I shan't even begin to get into it.

Let's just focus instead of pics of the cottage, Sophie, the creepiest lake find EVAR, and Cute Boy Pr0n, shall we?

Here is The Cottage.

The cottage makes me happy. So, so happy. It belongs to Judy and her family. I went damn near every year as a kid--in fact, a few months before I was born, my mum would sit on the dock and InUtero!Skyla would frolic as if she was in the water.

Sophie no longer fears (or tries to sniff) the water, but openly swims. She's possibly looking in the direction the boy took the kayak, because Sophie Likes Boys.

Guarding the beach. Again, possibly staring at where The Boy went.

And she will sit wherever a boy is because Boys Are Awesomer Than Mommy.

Now, in addition to kayaking, playing the guitar, and entertaining single women by doing household chores while shirtless, my friend Cute Boy also is a hippy* who decided to hunt in the lake for trash. He found a lot of golf balls, a tennis ball, beer cans, plastic cups, etc.

And also a horrible monstrosity from the depths of hell.

Meet my new friend:

**

Let me just get this out of the way NOW so you don't have to ask...

WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT THING???

We stared at her for a long, long time. A chill ran down our spines collectively. Cute Boy heard strange noises at his window at night and the working theory is that she maybe did it.

All I know is that somehow *I* inherited this souvenir and she's going to live among my plants. If I die mysteriously, well...I bequeath the creepy floating doll head toy to my greatest enemy (and I'll see him in hell).

To wipe that image from your mind, I now present to you...Cute Boy Pr0n!***

Cute Boy out for a swim

Cute Boy cooking veggie dogs.

Cute Boy doing dishes.

Cute Boy vacuuming.

Cute Boy making a face at me while playing guitar.

And, at last, a video of Cute Boy Playing Skyla's Guitar (not a euphemism).

Dear The Internet: I now win you. YOU'RE WELCOME.

------------------------

* He dislikes the hippy moniker Dina gave him last year. But I had to use it for my Dina.

** Yes, I didn't crop Shirtless Boy out of the back because, well, it's the only thing distracting me from the stare of that doll.

*** I'll have you know, I already warned him he would be put on the internet. He doesn't have a computer but just in case he gets someone to look up my blog, BEHAVE YOURSELF IN THE COMMENTS, CHICKADEES.