Going Dark

Just a quick note that I will be offline for a week. Totally offline. Not a vacation, not half hours, not secretly online--my internet will be unplugged. I have a couple of work questions to answer via email, a manuscript to format, and an ELEW blog post to write (or recycle), and then I'm gone until next week. (serious stuff after the cut)

I've written before about my disorder. I do this because I don't believe there should be a stigma around mental illness and there's nothing to be be embarrassed about: my body just works different than other people's. Ninety-nine percent of the time (okay, eighty-seven), I function perfectly okay. I cope. Other times, I don't. This is one of those times, and I'm explaining this because I suspect the average person doesn't fully grasp the severity of it since, generally speaking, I seem "normal."

I'm also open about it because I know how the little voice in your head telling you that you're weak and alone and your feelings are invalid and things will never change can be very, very strong, and I want anyone coming across my blog who has a mood disorder or other illness to know that they aren't alone. There are people going through the same thing, who struggle daily with an extra weight on their shoulders just trying to stay afloat. And if I can survive it, anyone can.

Some days there is a very, very thin thread that you tread. You have to inch along. You have to keep your arms out to maintain your balance. You can't look down. You have to brace against the wind. You have to hold steady when you feel someone plucking on the thread beneath your feet.

And if you don't, you fall.

I know someone who fell recently. It is not pretty.

If you are bipolar or depressed or anxious or have any one of the many issues afflicting the population, I want you to do me a favour right now: protect yourself. If you're on that thread, do whatever you have to to stay on it until it turns into a proper bridge. Anything that drains you, anything that makes you ill, anything that's threatening to knock you over, remove or block it until you're standing on solid ground again.

If you know someone who is bipolar or depressed, etc, I want you to do me a favour: listen to what said person needs and respect it. Take it seriously. If we've set up boundaries--no matter how silly seeming--it's because we need to protect ourselves. If we come forward needing help, that's to be supported, not chastised. We may need help crossing the thread. We may need someone to block the wind. We may just need someone on the other side telling us we're not alone. But "need" is the key. Need is a part of survival.

And on that note, I am off to do the last minute things. I will be incommunicado for a week with the general world, but I do accept nice emails and things waiting for me when I get back--please don't be scared to give me a shout, just don't be offended if I can't answer right away. And if anyone's looking for me, you can shoot them here for an explanation.

I've promised to check in with Dina James once or twice so follow her and she'll reassure you I'm alive and mostly well.

Have a lovely week and be evil for me, chickadees.