Skyla the Email Slayer

"One girl in all the world with the strength and skill to hit the 'reply' button. She alone will fight the questions, submissions, and the forces of douchebagginess. She is the Slayer."

In today's episode, Skyla stakes and turns to dust all those emails that came in during vacation while only breaking one or two nails, and makes eyes at that tall, brooding email with a soul. But can she stop the avalanche of slush from destroying all of Mundania-dale?


(This is how I amuse myself and stay sane, kids. Otherwise I might knock off liquor stores or something. It doesn't help that I recently watched 144 eps of Buffy back to back.)

Starring: Skyla as The Email Slayer, Dan (Skyla's boss) as the Giles, Niki (Skyla's art director coworker) as the Willow, and David Boreanaz as Angel the email with a soul.





Skyla: ...so then I was all, "Well, you could have saved us both some time if you had followed the guidelines in the first place." He got really mad after that.




Dan: *sighs very Britishly and cleans his glasses* You have a sacred calling, Skyla.






Skyla: Is it to get wasted at Balticon?






Dan: You are to slay the slush, not have it over for tea and conversation!






Skyla: But we didn't have tea.






Dan: The earth is doomed.






Skyla: You always say that.






Dan: *walks away*






Niki: Did he look annoyed to you? He looked annoyed to me.






Skyla: I think that's his "Skyla is around" face which is disturbingly exactly like his annoyed face.






Niki: He does only seem to have the two faces.






Skyla: I found this while I was out on patrol tonight. *hands over cool glowy artifact* I think it belonged to the previous senior editor who saved the schedule and Mundania-dale by tossing herself in a vat of boiling slush.





Niki: Skyla did you do...actual researchy homework stuff?





Skyla: No, I ran into Angel.






Niki: You mean the tall, dark and broody email with a soul who's been around forever?







Skyla: Yup.
Anyways, he says that the artifact is a source of slayer power and I was thinking that you being a powerful wicca and all--




Niki: This is going to lead into a spell that makes my computer go poof again or something, right?






Skyla: Angel thinks you could use magic to unlock the power in all potential slayers so that I could have an entire army to help me in the battle against email!




Niki: Cool! Wait, would that lead to you losing your raise?






Skyla: Good point. Maybe just unlock a little bit of its power so that I can have a minion. Or a helper monkey.





Niki: Some helper monkey mojo for you...okay, I can do that. Have you rearranged the schedule yet?





Skyla: Um...I think I hear Dan calling me in a very annoyed, British way. *ducks out*












I *swear* to you, I did all kinds of work today...this is how I kept myself sane over my lunch and supper break...