A Couple of Thoughts

Quick hit tonight, bunnies--hopefully I'll be back with something a little more substantial over the weekend.

For now...here are tonight's thoughts.

1. All submissions from June/July were held because I was in the process of moving. Boss dumped the slush on me to sort yesterday so after I reject a whole lot, I'll have to scare up the readers again and get everything caught up (and yes, including from the last open period--we had quit a few that were split down the middle decision-wise and slush got thrown to the side while I moved). Something I noticed this time around...

I'm not looking at the slush with glee, ready to find a few gems and get my snark on at the rest (I know it's bad of me, but I always got *such* a giggle over the truly atrocious books that I kinda looked forward to them). No, it's more...like the life has been sucked right out of me. It's dread, all heavy and hard in the bottom of my gut. Because I know how it'll go: I'll see the same mistakes and keep shaking my head, I'll get angry letters back when I reject... Until you've read hundreds and hundreds of cover letters and manuscripts, you can't fully appreciate how it really starts to mess with your head after awhile.

2. What I DID see among the slush were some in house submissions from authors I adore, so yay! They go on the top of the list.

3. I've been quiet all day (Wed) and probably will be Thurs/Fri too, keeping my head down and working but avoiding most people. Why? Crazy is in the air.

Crazy is always in the air somewhere, but sometimes you see it more than others. The normally fun, eclectic occult blogs and forums that I follow for research have exploded suddenly with this insane drama and clash of occultists. To clarify, it turns out one side is tres crazy--I was a little shocked at what happened. And then of course, yes, when "the death of publishing/every should start vanity publishing" conversation comes up somewhere, things go nuts and we all just mutter "Publishing is dying? Must be Tuesday" but people have gotten really heated the past couple of days. Normally nice, quiet peeps are revealing rather sharp tongues, and I watched a rather entertaining author/reviewer train wreck over the weekend.

It's not the normal crazy--it's kinda like the filter went away and people are either saying what they're thinking or getting really defensive about what others are saying.

Aside from my piracy meltdown, which isn't really out of the ordinary for me, I kinda just threw up my hands and said, "Okay, this would be a good coupla days to just NOT talk to anyone." I tend to breathe conflict without even meaning to so when everyone is going nuts, it's not a good time for me to join in.

4. Normally I love a good fight and would be all over the above, but I've just been kinda sitting here thinking... I'm tired. I'm tired of he said/she said, I'm tired of people arguing over publishing methods with their own agendas and not even listening to each other (or yelling at someone who is mostly fair and agenda-free), I'm tired of the high school social politics and shit among some authors and reviewers, I'm tired of writers and their attitude with my staff...

What I'd kinda love is to just go move to a tiny house out in the country, grow my own food, and keep to myself. Just wave bye-bye to the drama, unplug, and disappear for awhile. And that's not remotely feasible, but it remains my dream.

What I probably need to do is work on constructing a safe space I can retreat to (like I am with food on the advice of my nutritionist, who is now on Facebook so you should "like" her). But I'll continue having my little dream world where I don't have to deal with online...or offline...people for awhile.

5. I hit the This Book Will Not Die stage of writing Wounded--I have maybe 10K or so left to write and I'm actively cleaning the apartment and putting extra kms on the treadmill to avoid it. I'll just keep stabbing away though...I know eventually it'll end.

I also keep stabbing at Chapter Seventeen of CotA but I'm all jumbled around 'cause stuff is happening that I didn't plan for, and now I'm trying to rethink WTF I'm doing. I should have finished the chapter over the weekend but pirates derailed me and now I keep seeing readers on the CotA site looking for the chapter. I alternate between feeling bad and thinking, "WTF? Why does no one just scroll down on the main page where I said 'IT'S NOT DONE YET' rather than refresh the TOC a bunch of times?" Le sigh.

6. I was a little tipsy-while-tweeting a few days ago on Twitter and made a bet with the awesome Heather Petty, who is attempting to finish her WIP this week. Suffice to say, it looks like I'm going to have to go grocery shopping to prepare a meal for someone...

The moral of the story is wine + Twitter = WTF did I get myself into?

Over and out.