To Be Seen

I rolled out of bed this morning, got dressed for the sudden temperature drop–very briefly, spring seemed to be here, but it’s gotten chilly again–and hauled ass to the post office to mail all those books.

There are two others I earmarked but have no rush on, that I need to package and send out, but the six that folks bought over a matter of hours last night are off to their destinations. I had bought ten total, quite nervous and unsure if they’d move at all (hardcovers are so expensive!), so I’m very relieved.

Not only that, but surprised and delighted and…perhaps humbled, I guess? I was not expecting that level of interest.

The Killing Beach came out May 30, and now the third book is due to arrive in a week and a half. Three within a year seemed like the best way to get folks invested while maintaining my sanity (I cannot, and will not, do rapid releases for anything; I did that over a couple of years under a pen name and damn near killed myself), and we’re mostly moving to yearly releases now, although the odd time I might be able to squeeze in two a year (though not in 2025; the hope is to release Livi 7 that fall, but WE’LL SEE). I’ve written far enough ahead that I can do that and still have some breathing room (yes, to those who like to send me objections periodically: the unprofitable mysteries will continue until morale improves).

I did get a little down on myself recently, as I’ve been combing over sales info while preparing taxes, and that was…not smart when it came to Waverly lol. But at the same time, I feel like that’s for the best–I do not want a repeat of Livi which, despite its low sales, is still higher than Waverly, and has just enough attention that I get hatemail. I want to be able to pay some bills and devote that time to writing something I love and not get yelled at in the meantime, so lower sales but great Patreon support has been working out best.

What is tremendously heartening for me, though, is how much a handful of people love these stories.

Because that first one was so hard to write, and I had a serious crisis of faith a few months before I finally finished it that almost led to me scrapping the book and series entirely–I’m so grateful I didn’t, because I needed these stories, and it seems others do too.

I know some sales are because people love the hardcovers–they come out beautifully, they’re packed with extra stories and “bonus features”, the covers hit that nostalgia feel, and folks will invest in them and pop them on the TBR for later. Other sales are from regular readers who like my work but maybe mysteries aren’t their thing and the haven’t tried them yet.

But a for a few others I’ve talked to, they needed Waverly the same way I have.

I think her cold prickliness serves the same purpose for readers that badass, burn-it-all-down heroines (or want-take-have heroines, like Zara) do. Women are socialized to care about everything and everyone, all the time. Most women I know are exhausted with caring, especially with everything that has gone down over the past four years. For me, personally, compassion fatigue has broken something in me I’m not getting back again. And spending a few hours in the head of someone who is distant and unmoved by most things and wants to be left alone is a great outlet.

The hardcover edition of Alone at Night, in the behind-the-scenes section, I dedicate a few pages to picking apart the concept of likability in women, linking it to how it’s used against victims in real life and discussing how subjective it is. One of the long-running themes in this series is what it means to be fully seen and understood, whether our perspectives of ourselves match reality, and how we’re prone to listen to the voices that reinforce our worst opinions about ourselves.

Some people I’ve talked to seem to really see and understand Waverly, and that keeps them engaging with the series–along with the need for detailed murder boards of clues, of course.

I am so grateful for that.

I hope when the books I just shipped arrive at their destinations, folks are pleased with the physical presentation again and eventually the story when they read–and for everyone else, Waverly is back April 2.