A Little Less Orderly

Last week I had a small signing on my birthday when my good friend Danni arrived for a visit. I have a handful of books left that I haven’t gotten around to adding to the site shop yet if anyone wants a signed book.

There are two complete sets of the Demons of Oblivion series (Bloodlines, Hunter, Lineage, Exhumed, and Oblivion), four copies of River, and five of my new release Solomon’s Seal. They’re $10 each plus shipping, which varies by location. US shipping is about $11 now for a single book, while I think Canada is $7-ish. If buying a few, you can pay for just the books first and then I’ll find out what the combined shipping is. I accept PayPal (international and Canada), Interac e-transfers (Canada), or cash/cheque from Canadians I know.

The book is doing…well, I didn’t have expectations–I mean, Oblivion has been out for nearly two months and I think it’s made under $100, and that’s a book with an actual fanbase of several hundred readers of previous books. Solomon’s Seal has a huge climb upward to both find readers and become financially viable as a series, so we’ll see. At least so far it’s been well-received, and that’s the best I can hope for with just over a week since release. Mel is doing a giveaway of the first book with her cover reveal of Odin’s Spear–a couple days left to enter. If you enjoyed Solomon’s Seal, please consider leaving a brief review on your retailer of choice–it helps with search rankings, as well as encourages others who visit the retail page to buy.

The same day as the signing/bday party, my twenty-nine-year-old niece lost her life to cancer after living with it again after the last several months.

I was incredibly grateful to have Danni with me during the visitations and funeral, lending support to me and my family. I mourn different things than the others—a life I only knew from afar, someone I dreamed of meeting almost my entire life—and I’m thankful for the presence of a friend who understood. I can’t recall knowing someone so loved by so many as Jacky, and the grief of her passing has been overwhelming for those who just buried a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend… There are absolutely no words for the tragedy of it.

Jacky, however, fought so hard to live. I literally cannot fathom wanting to live that badly, to endure all the horror life can throw at someone and still stand tall, draw up her fists, and keep going. I’ve always believed the hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and right now I think it’s true for all the people who miss her…but she wanted that life, cherished and fought for that life, no matter what it entailed. I cannot imagine; I hang on by a thread 99% of the time. And it begs the question, for me, whether or not that is something innate, or if the will to live comes from our environment, from being surrounded by people who love us, who make us want to stay here.

Like everything else, it’s probably a combination of both, but in no one has that ever been as strong as in Jacky.

I take no comfort in platitudes, I don’t have the benefit of faith or religion, but I remind myself that she like so many others is still present, just a little less orderly.

I’m still mentally and emotionally drained, missing both Danni and my family right now, but I have a stack of work to sort for next week and an Xbox One from my birthday to keep me busy today, and a pile of cats vying for my attention, and stories to tell…and also Luke Cage punching things. That’ll do for now.