The Thing They Don’t Tell You

Yesterday I got excellent news from Dr. M, my specialist. My MRI showed no active disease and I’m not that badly damaged yet, I don’t yet require surgery, and I seem to be tolerating the medication well. I can cut down on my visits to her AND my frequent bloodwork.

I sort of sat there and blinked for a few moments, because I wasn’t prepared for that.

I prepare for worst case scenario, always, because bad news always hurts that much more when you have hope. At least for me. So I was quite prepared for something dire and had trouble adjusting to the idea that, for a little while, I’m okay. It’s that “for a little while” that is key, however. It’s not permanent. It’s never permanent; this can’t be cured. Oddly, it’s a little like mental illness that way. Periods of wellness in between periods of, “Oh, fuck”. There are all kinds of instructions on how to deal with bad news, but the thing they don’t tell you about is the good.

For a brief moment, sitting there with my doctor, I nearly stumbled over words (thank GOD she seems to find me coherent and like me as a patient, at least I’m generally educated on things) and the question flared in my head, “What now?” A different sort of panic than I’m used to, the good news triggering another shuffling of the ground beneath me. I’d mentally prepared me for one path and yet here is another, brighter one.

I recovered quickly, of course. Because the answer to that question is, well, carry on.Maximize this time of wellness, do all the things you comfortably can, and enjoy the hell out of it. Don’t ever squander it.

Anyway, this should mean we’re back to our regularly scheduled bloggage about books and such.

So I came home yesterday to the internet losing its damn mind (I still don’t even know wtf) AND the wonderful surprise of Patreon meeting its first milestone(!). This means that not only is my monthly medication paid for, but the Alchemy Red short, Prey, will soon be posted (one scene to finish and then a proofread on my end) for patrons. It’s a lot of fun and contains several familiar faces even if that’s not initially apparent from the description.

March also continues to be a busy month as things are on track to release the novella Rebellion. This is the first time I’ve revisited the River Wolfe world with new content as a writer since 2008 and for readers (when Wolfe was actually publisher), 2009. I am reasonably certain I am the only one excited for this novella (other than the friend who is currently reading it for coherency for me), but I don’t care: I’m tremendously pleased and I hope River Wolfe readers who catch it enjoy it.

So that’s it for me today. Errands to run, a flat to clean, some naughty assassins to get into trouble with some of your favourite characters, editing to do…

And possibly some nachos. Remission feels good.