I cancelled my birthday in September this year.
I was so ill at that point stuck in bed 24/7, I just didn’t want any celebrations/presents/etc. I couldn’t eat anything, I was deeply depressed not knowing what was wrong with me, struggling to pay bills when I could barely work, and it was MY birthday, after all. I didn’t want to feel worse than I already did. So, cancellation. (I do this periodically.)
But I love my birthday. I love presents*. I love surprises. I love celebrating me. And I have perfected my birthday celebration over the years.
First, it is Hors d’Oeuvre Day: I buy boxes of (vegetarian) appetizers at M&M Meats and that’s all I eat all day. Appetizers are my favourite things, all tasty bitesize goodies (when I eat out, I rarely look at the main dishes–I could just eat appetizers for a meal). Breakfast, lunch, dinner, that’s all I eat on my birthday. Next, for nostalgia reasons, I play my old Buffy Xbox games (I played the first one on my birthday many, many moons ago, and it was just OMG fantastic because BUFFY). This is my gift to myself.
I couldn’t this year, and so I vowed that when I was better, I’d have my day.
It’s this Friday, November 21st**.
I‘ve bought my appetizers, the games are waiting. I’ll be in my pajamas, mostly offline all day. Usually I get booze too but I don’t know how they’ll react with my meds, so no alcohol for me. But my birthday is set.
And you’re invited.
You don’t have to RSVP. You don’t have to show up anywhere. You don’t have to do anything…but give a gift to yourself and enjoy your day.
It’s not just my birthday I’m celebrating, but four weeks of clinical remission. Four weeks of some ups and downs but at least feeling more like myself. Four weeks of seeing that light at the end of the tunnel I thought, for six months, didn’t even EXIST.
So please, if you will, take time this Friday to celebrate with me wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. Have your own Very Merry Unbirthday. Give yourself a gift. Enjoy your day. Enjoy how amazing it is when your body works the way it’s supposed to (and if you’re ill and it doesn’t, enjoy what still DOES work for you, whatever it is). Eat food you LOVE–you have permission to eat whatever, whenever you want, and enjoy the hell out of it.*** If you’re like half the people I know, play the fuck out of the new Dragon Age all day.
At the risk of scaring you by not being a cynical bitch for a moment (I still am, I promise–this is not some kind of trap, and I’ll go back to snark and DOOM tomorrow), for my birthday I want you to celebrate LIFE and health and wellness. Celebrate those in your life who support you. Celebrate hope. Celebrate you.
Or, y’know, just drink a lot. At a nice little pub. Someone better enjoy the hell out of vodka for me on Friday since I can’t.
* I was asked if I will accept presents now for my rescheduled birthday. Accept, yes, but I am not asking for/expecting anything. Spend some love on yourself. (
Actually, I will be asking for help with a big thing this week–more on that later. ETA: That is probably no longer going to be a thing, so no details now. Sorry for vagueness!)
** November 21st is the birthday of one of my characters I’m very close to, which also seems quite fitting. (Mel, Danni, Judy–it’s Livi’s birthday.)
*** I, of course, recommend a wide variety of appetizers/party foods in copious amounts. For reasons.
ETA: See, I mean business.
OH YES IT IS TIME. Here’s to unBirthdays and clinical remission. And food. Glorious food. pic.twitter.com/9m1OiXPVN8
— Skyla Dawn Cameron (@skyladawn) November 21, 2014